I don't think there's anything wrong with the occasional fantasies of doing things you'd never actually do in real life. Fantasizing about doing horrible shit can be a way to vent frustration without hurting anyone. But — and I know there is a huge pile-on here — the line between fantasy and how you act has to stay…

I think it's just about being there.

I have been extraordinarily lucky when it comes to my friends. I have had TERRIBLE dating luck, but I have had amazing networks of friends almost everywhere I've lived.

Oh, yeah. He was a really sweet guy. It was just the perfect illustration for me of how often, even the sweetest, most caring men don't really know how to do the whole care-taking thing. And the fact that he obviously did care helped a little (and the chocolate was good later, though I was too depressed to eat at the…

Haha. Last I heard he was in Philly. Go for it!

As long as they prioritize my care/spending time with me over their side-pieces, totally.

When I was a junior, I had two male roommates, and was SUPER depressed. One day, when I'd been on a fairly long crying jag, my sweet, awkward roommate walks up to me, deposits some chocolate in my lap, says "please don't be sad" and runs off. Sometimes the sweetest guys just cannot handle dealing with feelings.

This is a more general question but...how do you go about figuring out a good perfume? I'm 26 and know nothing about it. I've never felt like I needed a "signature scent" but maybe it would be kind of cool?

Rom-com waiting to happen?

For public figures, yes. But I think women have been socialized to like, express and deal with emotions in a way men have not, which is why men are so INSANE when it comes to dating. (Irrelevant here, but. One of those days)

Well, the reason this person is no longer in my life is because he is an alcoholic who refuses to get help and dumps all his shit on the people around him; he wants me in his life and I wish I could be but when I am, I get pulled into his vortex. I have no nostalgia; being with him was awful. But I loved him as a…

I still love people who've died, do you find that strange? I'm not still in love with him, but I was for a very long time, and he was in my life for longer than that. I will always care very deeply about him and want the best for him in his life, but being part of it is too complicated and too painful.

Honestly for me I think it's mostly my own naivety that I miss. There was something so beautiful about the way I felt, as unhealthy as it was.

Yeah. I haven't really had like, a great, healthy relationship since him; I am hoping that when I find that, it'll be better.

Ugh, tell me about it. I still love a guy with whom things ended four years ago, and with whom I have not spoken at all in nearly two years. I think about him, I worry about him — I don't want him back, exactly, but he is always and forever there.

I have an ex who now lives on the other side of the country from me (we'd broken up way prior to his moving out there), and we talk a bunch and it's really nice. I think though that if we lived in the same place, we could be friendly and hang out occasionally, but talking all the time would be dangerous.

Yes, totally true and totally fucked up, but a woman is also discredited if she cries. For crying men, they are "no longer men," for crying women, it's just proof of their feminine inferiority.

No one ever tells white men not to get mad or angry when they're fighting injustice, and quite frankly criminal behavior.

Wait there are nonalcoholic hot toddies?

My mom's cure for the common cold: decaf Constant Comment, cointreau. Now I make the same but with bourbon.