I didn't say they were abusive. I'm saying that we have very little information; maybe they raised him terribly, maybe they didn't and he turned out terrible anyway. Kids aren't *always* an indication of how they were raised — my point is that some kids of good people turn out shitty and some kids of shitty people…

But YOU'RE the problem, doncha know????? <sigh>

Yes, definitely.

Uh, rape doesn't justify child abuse. He should be in jail. But vigilante justice is not the way to go, especially against your own kid.

Um, I agree with you when it comes to locking kids up for drug use or petty theft. But rape is a violent crime. And they weren't exactly babies, they were 17 at the time.

Not necessarily. I know really wonderful people who were raised by abusive, shitty excuses for parents, and I know people with really wonderful parents who have done terrible things.

Yes, that would be a much better response. But I definitely don't expect her to hate her kid, and, if what she said was a lack of the eloquence necessary to say it your way, then I sympathize with her and how heartbreaking it would be to love someone who's done something so awful.

Honestly, I don't know WHAT I'd say if this was my kid. I would be so, so mortified and heartbroken and angry, but I would still love him. Maybe this mom raised him terribly. Maybe she didn't, and he was corrupted by our pretty fuckin awful society. Maybe by his dad. Maybe his mom knew her son was a creep. Maybe he'd…

I believe that this kid probably didn't think "yo I'm gonna rape this chick" (I don't how the youths talk), and I *know* there are situations in which a kid doesn't think he's doing anything wrong because he just doesn't know better. But it seems so, SO insanely unlikely that with everything they did, these kids…

I had that theory til junior year of college: I was dancing with this amazing-dancer, and then we went to make out, and he just like...licked my face. With a lot of slobber. I made a quick getaway and didn't try the sex but.

Welp, father-daughter incest was enough to freak out the Greeks: http://www.mythography.com/myth/welcome-t…

I mean, it's not shocking. But it is heart-breaking.

Right? I DO believe there are situations in which a dude genuinely believes a girl is into it and isn't aware of her exact level of intoxication; in those situations it is equally horrible for the girl, but the guy could be a "good kid who made a mistake."

The "I work out all the time" doesn't strike me as fake, I've definitely gotten that from dudes before. "I talk about working out all the time" though seemed pretty tongue-in-cheek.

God I'm sorry. If there's no way to get authorities involved, do at least all your friends know what's going on? You should have some kind of network working for you, even if it's not official.

Also how much would it fucking suck if SHE had to drop the class because he was such a massive creep?

"Pure German-bred"??? I mean, Germany is now a super-awesome progressive place and I would very much like to travel there. But "pure German-bred" makes me think that as a Jew, I should stay farrrrr from this guy (I mean there are other reasons to do so as well).

Doing a ton of drugs at 14 seems kind of depressing.

My unrealized dreams are "see the northern lights" and "have sex in my undergrad's library." That's totally what they meant, right?

Right, I think the best purpose the questions could serve is showing you who's *not* a good match.