This made me laugh for the first time today.

I don't get people like that. One of my best friends eats "sandwiches" that are just two slices of bread. Nothing else. And not good bread either, just your regular grocery-store sandwich bread.

Maybe you accidentally dipped a sweet pretzel into mustard, thinking it was salty?

1. I love this.

Oh then definitely check it out. I loved it for my first year or so after college, it just kinda got old after that.

I grew up in DC and lived there for two years after college. I loved it! I'm planning to move back there for a good after a few years living other places.

Are you comparing police brutality/a murder to a woman "nagging" her boyfriend?

Is this all that exists, or is there a full pilot episode?

Honestly — I grew up with protective older brothers, and there is no one I love more in the world. But I think a lot of my self-confidence issues come from having older brothers who had the advantages of BOTH being male and older, and with whom I never felt like I could compete (not that stopped me from trying…

Oof, I am sorry. If you can get coverage/afford it, seek physical therapy. Way better than just a massage.

or people who walk four abreast and just stare at you as you awkwardly walk towards them hoping not to be forced into the street?

Yeah, I draw a definite distinction between "broke" [which I am] and "poor" [which I am not], but I feel like if you are not a person who cares about semantics, you probably don't? I am with you, though, it is really obnoxious to put "I can't afford drinks AND dinner out AND concert tickets, I have to choose!" to "I…

If I could post images, I would give you a gif of Abbey Bartlett being pissed about not being called "Dr." anymore. Bc she is my favorite.

Ughhh yes. My mom is not a doctor, but she is an accomplished law prof with her own damn name. When people refer to her as Mrs. [Dad's first name + last name], she is super polite, but it drives me crazy (even though my dad is one of the greatest people I know — I imagine it'd be worse if I didn't feel that way).

Not necessarily impossible; "admissions have gotten harder" is a huuuge understatement, and they did show Buffy getting high SAT scores. And I think Buffy does come off as quite intelligent — she's spacey and doesn't have time for school, but she's incredibly quick-witted/can think on her feet/is quipy.

Freaks and Geeks! But on Buffy, class is a thing in the high school, but seems to stop existing in college.

Jesus, I'm sorry. I'm glad your cousins are okay!

I am certain it is not. After I got fired while having mono from a company that paid me 2.50$/hour (I was an intern so had no rights), I free-lanced as an editor at a employment law firm, and learned just how illegal everything about my former job was.

Wowwwww. I got fired while I had mono, but that pales in comparison to your story.

I mean, people do figure it out...but yeah they're in for a lot of awkward sex before it gets good.