Maybe so, but she fucking sucks at cartwheels.

“P.P.P.P.P.S. Teacher hits us when we make mistakes. Send help.”

I'm surprised you still have time to read Deadspin.

Either you are the PC police or I struck a nerve. Either way, dude, if that comment hurt your feelings, find a new site. The articles have stronger stuff than what I said not to mention the comments.

So Beckham balked at Ball, who was brandishing a baseball bat for Bene Benwikere? And Brad beckoned Beckham to back up from Ball’s bat?

I must have missed that concert.

Man that sucks. At the same time, it’s kinda cool. Weird feeling to have.

How the hell don’t you use mustard instead of mayo for ham?

I agree about the play, but why did you finish your comment with the Aussie Pledge of Allegiance?

Look how cute Otto the skateboarding dog is.

Sick of hearing professional athletes brag about their extravagant lifestyles and 18-passenger cars.

I don’t know the answer to this question (actually, I totally do: no, it’s not).... but given that this is the Bills, I do know that someone will inevitably get flagged for a personal foul.

Dude didn’t sound like an asshole. That cat’s an asshole.

Dude in the black overcoat is (current) NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick of the San Francisco 49ers. I suspect he is wearing the glove to protect his very valuable Throwing Hand from who knows what —- possibly, he’s wary of shaking hands with the Deadspin staff (not unreasonable). Either that, or he moonlights as a…

“I was shocked at how she flew across the floor.”

- “Let’s say you have a regular 9-5 job... [blah blah blah] ... You would not work during the off-season”

Dammit, it’s October, 2015 and we still have to deal with this shit. Eventually, people will stop making jokes and laughing about a very cruel and serious subject. I, like many people who comment on this website, can’t stand hot takes; but in this particular situation I’d much rather read a strongly worded, over the…

Enjoy your practice squad cars and your practice squad beds and your practice squad apartments. After I’m done doing throws here I’m going to step inside the mouth of a whale and the whale will take me to my luxury condo out near the edge of the continental shelf where mermaids will be my bed. Do you get it? I am…