I’m embarrassed for them coons.

I get it. I tried to do that with Megan McCain, but that dog wouldn’t hunt. 

not surprised at all. 

L.

I didn’t know I needed a Murphy bed until now. I can’t afford California closets tho, is there an Ohio Closets or Michigan Closets?

I just bought an electric staple and will happily staple some MAGA hats to heads for free. I consider that a public service

They always turn to stats when trying to cover up the real human cost. Ask him how many cops get shot by a suspect a year and I bet his answer will be “about 30", not “0.0001%.”

I heard about it before but didn't even realize it was getting released today. I wonder if it's as you say or maybe it's being overshadowed by Catch and Kill

You’re so full of shit

That fucking neighbor... I don't understand how in 2019 in America your first reaction is to call the fucking gestapo. 

Rest in Power, Rep. Cummins.

Mohammed Noor will still be inside but he knows his black ass wasn't invited anyway

Somehow i must have missed that Van Dick only got 6 years. I think I was just so surprised he got convicted at all. With the 5 Amber Guyger will end up serving they will both get out about the same time, they could go on tour with Betty Shelby and maybe the police rec center they hold their white people party in will…

A day late and a dollar short as usual with Creepy Uncle Joe

https://giphy.com/gifs/orLVhnnoegyIM?utm_source=media-link&utm_medium=landing&utm_campaign=Media%20Links&utm_term=https://giphy.com/gifs/orLVhnnoegyIM

“I'll allow it" -Mike Godwin

Lol. A new CFO always spells the end. They hired one at my last job, 6 weeks later he quits. That’s when I started updating my resume

With a bright pink, plastic Chastity cage.

When I think Kushner “tough” doesn’t come to mind more. More like “moist” or “doughy” or “flaccid”

I don’t like KimK but she did get a woman out of prison. Did Ellen being some dead Iraqis back to life?