LOL. We wish. An extremely literal interpretation of the “holy” text is still an interpretation of the fucking shitty holy text.

To be fair, who - other than literally every sentient being in the universe - could have predicted that US intervention in the Middle East would have horrifying unintended consequences?

Some of my lit students were telling celebrity stories recently, and I happily talked about the time I met Junot Diaz.

WHY would you not use the gif of Danny. WHY. WHYYYYYYYYY.

Vickie Gunvalson.

For someone so dismissive of her, it’s obvious that you write Bey’s name enough to know how to get the accent over the e. Sit down, Rita.

Why does she have to take Rita into an elevator? Last I checked, it wasn’t Rita who made vows to her.

“Ban” is a big word ... it’s possible Mayweather doesn’t know what it means.

Sylvia Brown was a very bad person.

It’s a miracle!

First thing I thought of too. We are horrible people.

Females are strong as hell!

“...later, she watched her mother appear on the Montell Williams show, only to have psychic Sylvia Brown tell her that her daughter was dead. Berry’s mother died before she was able to escape.”

They alive, damn it!

every school dress code that is not a set uniform is about policing girls and girls alone.

Love him! My 17 year old daughter wore a dress with spaghetti straps yesterday and when a school administrator told her to cover up she asked him if her shoulders were turning him on. She's a sassy thing and I love it.

It figures that the living embodiment of ‘cocaine logic’ would be really into mirrors.

For fucks sake. When I was young, even if I didn’t want to go to a classmates party, my parents dragged me there anyways. Some days aren’t about you. Plus, you get cake. Go to the party!

Yeah surely the parents got the invites? Children are frequently assholes but for all the parents to not have their children attend is inexcusable.