After reading all these comments, I now feel like a piece of old, useless shit because I don't have a kid at 33. I'm going to go cry now forever until I see my therapist in a week and a half. It's really fucked up, guys, to be talking about how people are too old even at age 30. Look, I don't really have a choice…

I've run too many NICU codes to be ok with this shit. I've watched too many infants die.

Not to mention the rates of extreme prematurity and severe complications, NICU admissions......go ahead and google image search "extreme prematurity" and then imagine running a code on a 500g infant for a hour while their ribs break from chest compressions before you call it.

Seriously, fuckers.

Cool. Now let's see a profile on a single mother and her experiences who is not a multi-millionaire.

Who's starring this? There is, in fact, a citation. Reading comprehension is good.

Damn it, now I'm reading my own comment in a Dalek voice.

Not to downplay the seriousness of this whole thing but I read your comment in a Dalek's voice.

You want to play in the political pool and actively work to disenfranchise others?

Yup. You want federal money? Follow federal laws, assholes.

You're providing emergency services to refugees, not religious services. RFRA does not apply, exemption denied.

The faith groups are demanding that they continue to be given federal funding

I kinda hate the bullshit rhetoric that if you aren't vegan you aren't compassionate towards animals, ever. It can sometimes read a lot like pro-life propaganda.

Whoever wrote this, I kind of want to punch them in the face.

Okay, just when I thought he couldn't get more creepy.

Y'ALL JUST HAD TO WRITE THIS ON A MONDAY

It was the blurst of times?

I saw this exact scenario play out... at work... in a room full of scientists. Fortunately, most people didn't believe the article, but there was one person who was adamant that it was true, and barely believed us when we said it was posted on a satire site. It was not our office's best day.