I really enjoyed the 2013 Tomb Raider, so I was super disappointed when they went with "Rise of the Tomb Raider" for the sequel name. Ugh, I feel queasy just typing it.

No, I think he's right. I never had any generation of XBox, so the only Halo I played was the first game's multiplayer at a party, 4v4 on 2 screens, and the second game's co-op campaign with a friend one weekend we had nothing to do. Denying me those experiences wouldn't convince me to buy an XBox, it would just…

Beat me to it. I still can't believe there was actually a movie called "Rise of the Guardians."

It's a shame Pitchfork already famously used a video of a chimp drinking its own piss as a review, because that would be perfect substitute for your normal SNL roundup this weekend.

That explains the wheelchair.

Sean Bean was a top five Bond villain, but Sophie Marceau was pretty great too. Jonathan Pryce's bad guy was pretty hammy and non-threatening, but he's always good at making hammy very watchable.

Maybe the all-caps threw me off, but I initially misread "GARAGE" as "GARBAGE."

Various work, school, and social downtimes are converging this weekend, so I'm going to have an awful lot of time on my hands for the first time in many months. I want to dedicate a good chunk of it to catching up on horror games (especially Amnesia) and horror movies (especially The Babadook) that I haven't quite…

Same story with my wife and Serena. We gave it our best shot, but gave up an hour in. What a boring turd of a film. Everyone's sleepwalking through their jobs and no scene last longer than 60 seconds, giving you no sense of who characters are or why we should care about them.

Kirby's Dreamland is a documentary, told in real time.

Admittedly, it's been awhile since I've gone back and played them, but I feel like the "Mega Man games were sooo hard!" narrative is super overblown, even by Capcom themselves. They were tough to beat, sure, but they weren't hard to play. And even if there were some tricky jumps or cheaply placed spikes, every…

Sure, it references an actual incident not broader climate change, but I think the themes and implications for "Eco-horror" are the same: that we should be afraid of what our arrogance, laziness, and disregard of the world has done to the world.

SUICIDE SQUAD - TIME CRIMES DIVISION: starring Doc Brown, Donnie Darko, Max Caulfield, a Terminator, and Bill & Ted.

Fuck the comedy world's response to Trump's candidacy. Since this stupid circus began, all I heard from comedians was how thankful they were for the opportunity for easy jokes. And that's just led to an easy in for interviews with every late-night outlet, giving this tumor of a human being a bigger and bigger profile.…

You can dig 'em when you're playing as Peach.
(Oh yes, we can. Oh yes, we can.)

I can dig plumbing, but a plumber with a ghost vacuum?
What the fuck happened?

Bitch, where you when I was stompin?
Now I run the game with the goomba and the Whomp King, King Koopa
Everybody wanna cut the bridge under him, Koopa.
Jump Man takin no losses.

You mean it wasn't changed to "King Koopa"? Writes itself, my ass.

He could be a regular Bill Cosby-type!

The mushroom-with-angry-eyes goombas from the games or the towering-monster-with-a-tiny-skull goombas from the movie?