Mom must be so proud.

I am printing this off and showing it to my wife. Because our daughter is the same age and she was starting to turn into your daughter’s BFF and we, thankfully, righted the ship and she turned into someone more like your daughter. Nicely written and perfect advice for parents-to-be!

Yeah, as soon as I saw Brooklyn, GQ and Vanity Fair in the same sentence with this idiot’s name, I knew I was dealing with a real winner....

Hey, if he’s good enough for David Duke, he’s good enough for me.

That guy definitely rents Hayman.

“I’m sure it was just a reflex action, but he totally missed the ballsack.”

Yeah, but his job is not “Offensive Coordinator”, correct?

They intend to lash out at anything that indirectly hurts their important feelings and will twist any kind of logic to fit their world view.

Oh, please tell me it was a Sunday morning when the guy saw Peyton at the park. Please.

Do you watch it with House and Sully, too? Or just Tahmmy? And do you change the sheets afterwards?

Who’s the asshole on the right?

The funny thing is: Most of you wish pain and death upon anyone whose opinions differ from yours, so any of your pain and suffering over the result of the election bothers me none. In fact, it entertains me greatly. Enjoy drama-queening the next four years!

OK, I will miss ONE thing about this administration....

What about Eddie Gaedel? Pretty sure I could’ve taken him.

OMG, that is a fucking horror movie come to life. SyFy couldn’t have done this any better (unless the iguana had a chainsaw for a limb, I guess).

“Atta boy!”

Gawd, I knew someone was bring up Boston. We had to deal with that shit in ‘04, including uber-douche Simmons chiding the general public: “Unless you’re a Red Sox fan, you can’t understand what this means.” So, no, it wasn’t “similar for the Red Sox in ‘04.” This is the Cubs celebration,

I’m sorry, but placing the poop stories right before the gametime snack and beer guarantees I’ll never try any of them.

Would now be a good time to ask you why Sixer was afraid of Sevyn?