..I WISH.

On a more topical note, I really want to masturbate right now but I also want to make another cup of tea. SO CONFLICTED.

I got my lips around a cuppa of green tea. The liquor is a light yellowish green not unlike the golden showers we endeavor in our flights of indulgent fancy. The aroma is fresh, lightly grassy, the intoxicating perfume equivalent to experiencing anal in the dewy, moist, fresh cut lawn in the peak summer month. I…

Titanic 2: Glacial Drift

"Phoenix" - Daft Punk
"Eyes Be Closed" - Washed Out
"Meadowlarks" - Fleet Foxes
"Dragvandil" - Grimes
"Beyond Love" - Beach House
"Art Snob Solutions" - of Montreal
"Love Me Girl" - Yeasayer
"Velouria" - Pixies
"Our Love" - Caribou

Up from the depths
Thirty stories high
Breathing fire
His head in the sky
Godzilla!
Godzilla!
Godzilla!

Look Mahky Mahk, I love you but you could have chosen a better hairstyle than that long, almost mullet-like greaser hair. Hot take: It's bad.

God: "Jesus, thou shall not tell falsehoods."
Jesus: "Alright ALRIGHT. Fine. I admit it, when she washes my feet with those aromatic oils— fuckkk it turns me on so much that I pretended as if she were Lazarus and that night I "raised" her from the dead."
God: "Oh Jesus, you have failed us all. Humanity's redemption has…

Alien Jesus would rather probe his faithful flock than to sully his hands with the blood of the commentariat. Just clench your teeth and cling tightly to the probe table railings and you'll be fine.

La Femme Munkita
Gran Cioppino
Bulletproof Munk

"Pop Life" - Prince & The Revolution
"Glory in Itself/Egyptian" - Gang Gang Dance
"Blew Away" - The Smashing Pumpkins
"Amanaemonesia" -Chairlift
"Apollyon of Blue Room" - of Montreal
"When We're Dancing" - Twin Shadow
"Fat Old Sun" - Pink Floyd
"What's Forsaken" - The Black Ryder
"Round the Bend" - The Beta Band
"Bobby’s Song"…

I do enjoy this new cover photo of Dan. It appears more lively. Like he's more willing to sex and also answer your sex questions yet not feel so prudishly begrudged for doing so.. It's the perfect cover photo for a more reserved version of 69. You and I, are at the bar. We are drinking gin and tonics and we need to…

Black Moth Super Rainbow is basically a indie electronic psychedelic band from Pittsburgh. They tend to use lots of analog synths, (especially in the early albums—much of it very reminiscent of those educational science films from the 70's but twisted and fucked up—not to mention Boards of Canada and AIR), lead singer…

"Red Rabbits" - The Shins
"A Sunshine Fix" - The Olivia Tremor Control
"Early 70's Gymnastics" - Black Moth Super Rainbow
"I Wanna Be Your Hand" - Holy Ghost!
"Faded from the Winter" - Iron & Wine
"Beach Monster" - STRFKR
"Rafting Starlit Everglades" - Baths
"Last Rites At The Jane Hotel" - of Montreal
"Plans" - Grizzly Bear
"G…

I take it you're one of those faux music reviewers that enjoys the bland vanilla tones of Celine Dion? The more boring the voice, the better, right?

"Weregild" - Grimes
"Flowers of Ours" - The Asteroid #4
"Romantic Streams" - Sleep ∞ Over
"Basic Space" - The xx
"Abraham" - Sufjan Stevens
"Minneapolis Belongs to You" - Elite Gymnastics
"Belle Glade Missionaries" - of Montreal
"Be Mine Tonight" - Twin Shadow
"Hinterland Who's Who" - Quest For Fire

Seems like writing bad, horny poetry is the only way extremely drunk me could've expressed myself last night. Instead of drunk texting and sexting for the average soul, drunk Exquisite indulges in drunk poetry much like a sub-par Dylan Thomas without the Irish theatrics. As I type this with a hangover the size of…

Inebriated and gay, in need of a lay.
Here I am in Savage Love, to Zeus I pray.
O thunder lord, to you who impugned upon a maiden a'plenty.
Who braved the wrath of Hera, who fathered spawn worthy of epic poetry.
I am queer become comprehension, grant me the strength on this day.
To find a lad worth a'plucking, so that we…

It can be two things.

Dammit. I feel so bad for laughing. Poor Jason Pierre Paul.