Allow me to speak from experience as someone who works out just as much as is required to be in this shape, but also enjoys carbs:

It’s like Mac from It’s Always Sunny said: “Look, it’s not that hard. All you need to do is lift weights six days a week, stop drinking alcohol, don’t eat anything after 7pm, don’t eat any carbs or sugar at all, in fact just don’t eat anything you like, get the personal trainer from Magic Mike, sleep nine hours a…

on one hand, this will make him a bunch of money, being a marvel star and all

on the other hand, everything i have ever heard is that what is required to get your body to look like that is basically 6-12 months of outright misery, so that can’t be fun

He was on a podcast (either Comedy Bang Bang or Doug Loves Movies) and told a story about how he and Thomas Middleditch were at a bar where they were approached by MAGA-hat chuds who were calling them “betas” and cucks. And Kumail said something along the lines of “have you met me? I’m beta as fuck, dude.”

I want this.

  Yes.  That is clearly the face of a woman reacting to the perfect Christmas gift.  My wife made the same face when she opened the new mop I got her last Christmas.   And when I get her the jacket she wanted, she stated she was nervous about putting it on.

Pretty sure it’s the writing and concept behind this ad that makes it a giant nut-filled turd.

so I type up a throw away line like “sorry you were too cool to enjoy the show”

intentionally cruel every other day to a co-worker

Right. The best way to be a jackass on the one day of the year everyone allows themselves to dress up and act silly is to refuse to do it.

There’s a difference between those instances and doing it when it’s expected of you. 

My favorite thing about Jim’s character is that he’s willing to be a jackass the other 364 days of the year (remember when he wore a fucking tuxedo to work for no reason other than to zing Michael? Or dressed up as Dwight in order to zing Dwight?), but come Halloween he’s suddenly too cool and “not into” costumes to…

I don’t know that it’s meant to be a laugh-out-loud funny show. Its jokes are dry and absurd, rather than guffaw-inducing. Despite the animation and occasional wacky hijinks, I think it’s just too fucking bleak and dark at its core to really even be considered a comedy. 

Say what you will about the music, but Billy Joel is a fucking genius. He hasn’t released an album since 1993, so he has no embarrassing late career stuff for people to hate (I’m ignoring the weird classical album, which is still nearly 20 years old). He plays approximately 10 shows a year, all a designated drive from…

Gee, your right. It’s not like Amazon Prime has any other great originals like The Boys or Homecoming. It’s also not like they have one of the better exclusive lineups with Mr. Robot, Justified, The Americans and Psych; and it’s cheaper than netflix. It’s also not like they have an option to help deliveries and music…

The modern horoscope is a horoscope.

A one-life live speed run of Ninja Gaiden!?! Now that, that I would really be impressive.

last year he did ninja gaiden, it was a treat to watch

thats part of the appeal of the show, but noah literally never does. last year he did ninja gaiden, it was a treat to watch

HEY EVERYBODY! Check it out! This guy wants to do a near-perfect no-death run of Mega Man 2 on hard on stage in front of several hundred people to a live heavy metal soundtrack! Everybody come watch!