Or the feeling he had when the Heat beat the Celtics in 7 in 2012 and Ray Allen signed with them in the offseason.

You and Donovan McNabb both.

Tom Cable is starting a LT that hasn't started a football game since peewee. I'm pretty sure Russell Wilson slept with Cable's wife or something. Although that sounds very un-Russell Wilson like, so I'm guessing he just like, sneezed in his coffee or something.

He must be confused, you see, Dre actually sent Hittman, the rapper he kept trying to make a thing on The Chronic 2001.

Yes! Call it Pick & Roll.

Torture? I mean I know Furious 7 wasn't great, but I don't know if I'd go that far. (to be clear, I get that you're referencing Saw, I just couldn't resist)

HAHA YES, GIVING SHOWS 90'S SITCOM STYLE OPENINGS IS ALWAYS FUN AND NOT AT ALL PLAYED OUT AND LAZY.

I'm inclined to agree, and I normally like Jimmy Fallon fine enough. His appearance was pure, masturbatory derailment of a great Update. Fallon has no place dealing with anything resembling political edge. I mean, he just did a sketch on his show about Trump calling fucking Madea for christ's sake. Just let him do the…

That's probably just because you're Muslim, which sadly of course, you can't change. You wouldn't believe how quickly they let Catholics turn gay. It's like a trip to the grocery store for them.

You mean people enjoy playing games at parties? The nerve of some people.

Holy shit, I bet that takes the cake for best "where were you when the towers fell" story.

Let's just say the divorce won't be pretty.

The aforementioned skins of course, are the skins of his wife's feet.

Wasn't the idea of having Vin Diesel and The Rock star in a movie together something Vin took off with? (Supposedly after seeing it in a comment on his Facebook page)

My roommate Nick is an ignorant baldhead!

So that's what JTT's been up to.

I mean I guess you could say that, but we don't really know the actual nature of their relationship since we weren't there and neither of them publicly said "I hate this guy." Maybe they genuinely did dislike each other, but without actually knowing I think it's kinda pointless to try to psychoanalyze Vin. I really…

I mean I know they had their differences, but you'd have to be pretty cynical to think Vin named his daughter after a guy he hated just for publicity.

Welp, guess it's onto Sesame Street memes.

I can't quite tell if you should work for The Onion or if you should work for Fox News.