Some really ambitious parent suggested/executed that idea, and I bet the normal parents were happy when it failed so spectacularly.

The mason jar of your memories and veggie oil is waaaaaay too Piss Christ.

As my wedding date gets closer and closer(about 18 days right now), i care less and less about my DIY centerpieces and decorations. It’s just too much work. I don’t care enough. Everyone is gonna be so drunk and full from all the awesome food it doesn't even matter.

Number 4 is a bit Piss Christ, isn’t it?

I approve of the goldfish only because I can make bets on marital luck based on the % of fish alive by the end of the night. (And as a bystander only.)

The only way I’ve seen it and been amused was to take a picture of an anguished face, then put it in the oil jar, then leave it somewhere, like the back of the closet or under the bathroom sink and wait for people to find it.

Well, I’m finally finished a freakin’ YEAR of cancer treatment and am going away to a friend’s cottage for a week... guess that’s my cancer-moon, then?

oh. my. god.

Watching her character provide moral clarity to Picard is unsettling now.

For the same reason people like veal, or caviar, etc. Baby food is better I guess.

Very well done except for this:

oh my fucking jesus balls! crazy story! craziestest story!

In college, I was in LOVE with this dude two years older who was frat brothers with one of my good platonic friends. My love burned so bright, up to and including the only time we ever talked, which happened when I passed him walking down the stairs at the frat house, and he said “What’s up, NotJoeyLee3?” I should…

With the nescafe, the hummus, the going back for a ‘cuddle’, and the three year celibacy - this is the most Israeli story I’ve ever heard.

Maybe I can get out of the greys with this one.

I am not a hookup person. The story that follows was made possible by a combination of extraordinary factors, leading to a story that has become a legend in my circle of friends.

I want to create a million burners and catapault you straight to the top. Of everything. I want you to have all the dicks. Every last one of them. Bless you.

I’VE NEVER HAD A WEDDING HOOKUP AND I’M SO ENVIOUS OF THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE!

Everybody must star this.

EVERYBODY.

That is an awesome burner name. And story!