San Francisco, the Castro, midday on a gorgeous sunny July afternoon. Man laying on the sidewalk, like horizontally across the way so that everyone would have to step over him. Shirtless, dirty jeans pulled down to his knees. He's simultaneously peeing and vomiting. And people just walking around around the vomit/pee…

I was your cousin in another instance. Instead of eating shit, he chewed up a very very used tampon of a friend's sister. I found it laying in the bathroom right after I had finished playing with him and proceeded to empty the contents of my stomach. It was in privacy, so it doesn't really matter here, but still.

- Working at Value Village, go in to clean out a change room, discover room is full of fur coats covered in semen, gag, promptly throw out (carefully avoiding all suspicious areas), and then wash hands/arms vigorously.

My family frequented the Santa Barbara Zoo and, over the years, I witnessed hundreds of people getting sprayed by the male lion. It was really sad but funny and I'll never forget one tiny little pained voice pleading, "Daddy, what was that? Why did he do that?"

I have so many gross stories to share! Three short ones (comprised of lots of run-on sentences, because drinking?!):

I was just going to tell my gross story about working at Value Village and the phantom jacker who liked fur coats in the change rooms... either I may know you or there is a lot of jacking off at Value Village. Ugh.

spot a rat is always a good game to play. upwards of 5 rats is something to write home about i'd say.

Not an individual story, but the Paris Metro system is so gross in the non-touristy areas that my best friend and I used to play bodily fluid bingo on our commute home. If you managed to see 5 different types of bodily fluids on a single commute, you won! (But really lost, clearly.)

Yeah I saw a monkey giving another monkey a rimjob at the zoo a few years back. Everyone was CRACKING. UP. (And there were a few confused kids as well.)

I spent ten years working in locked psych facilities as a nurse, and you'd think that would be where my stories come from. However, all my horrifying stories were from when I worked at Value Village. I have two.

btw, later found out the male giraffes smell and drink the urine to test if the female is ovulating. ah, nature. giraffe golden showers for all.

oh man, the zoo is a goldmine for stuff like this.

That is why I don't let our dogs lick my face. My boyfriend thinks I'm being mean because I'm not letting them show me affection but I don't care. I know they eat poop and vomit and lick each other's assholes.

I was in high school, working counter at McDonalds. Guy ordered food while picking his ear with his keys.

I can't tell you how many times I've seen my dog going to town on himself only to lick my unsuspecting husband's face moments later. Sometimes I'm able to warn him in time. If not... ignorance is bliss.

ARGH, wrong story to click on right after lunch. I am a dumbass.

My sister had a friend whose aunt used to take eye boogers and rub them across her lips as a "natural moisturizer." The same woman also had a habit of picking dead skin off her feet and then eating it (and then had the audacity to turn right around and offer me refreshments which I firmly yet politely refused!) I'm…

I am not too sure if this qualifies as "public," but here it goes:

I used to go camping with my dad a lot in high school. Often on these trips, I would bring friends and my dad would invite my 20something to come along with his friends. He would also bring his dog. Most mornings my dad, my friend and I would drive to…

While waiting for a bus in Philadelphia, I saw a homeless man "reading" the paper upside down, fold it up, put it under his chin, drop his pants, unfold the paper, position it under his ass and take a shit in it.

I was on a bus and an old man in front of me begins slowly and deliberately digging in his ear. I can't see what he's using, but I'm frozen in disgust. The tool emerges from his ear. It's a pen cap, pointy side first covered in ear cheese. He took a good long look at it, smelled it, then began digging again. He…