Wait. Can we discern whether the article itself is a parody? Are there clues in the art direction? IS THE AUTHOR STANDING ON A PILE OF BABY SKELETONS?????

Great…so you gonna refill the Slurpee machine now or what?

I don't really care if the stuff isn't exclusive. The hing that makes Trader Joe's for me is the carefully…ugh…I hate this word…CURATED selection of products.

Meh, you could make the argument that superheroes are inherently right, left, Fascist, Communist, Totalitarian (which is what I think people mean by "fascist"), whatevar…anything from the individual ceding their will, safety and life to benefit the many to the individual asserting his/her will over the many.

I think the Iraqis were the Greeks and we were the Persians in that situation, what with us being the invading army pushing into somebody else's homeland. You should have made that argument and SAVED YOUR FRIEND.

There is also something to be said about how the further you go back, the smaller the knowledge of the world was and the smaller the world people inhabited. Even in the 1800s it wasn't unusual for a person to be born, live and die in a 20 mile radius.

It's interesting to say superheroes are "fascistic" because they are typically working alone, whereas facism by definition is about a large group of people working together as a block.

I think they hate us because we don't know shit and make errors like saying people born 1,000 years before Muhammad were "Islamic invaders".

Pachouli oiled???

I just imagine them smelling of patchouli and wearing bierkenstocks.

Wait. The chests annoyed you, but not the butts???

I wouldn't say OBSESSED…(closes google image search tab)

Well, yes…METAPHORICALLY.

Ugh. THOSE people.

I though it meant you had a bent cock.

No, no. The Greeks are senate Democrats holding back the surging tide of the decadent right. Duh.

Yah. I didn't see all the subtext, just a bunch of ripped dudes fighting.

BARRY DON'T PLAY THAT.

I saw Barry Manilow last week, and he was talking about how he was still just a kid from Brooklyn at heart…and I'm like:"Oh…that means something SO different than you think it does now."

I started hoarding Nuka-Colas already!