Can’t imagine why kids don’t want to watch baseball with commentary this witty.

And he got all pissed about people tweeting shit like that at his daughter.

In order to get out of the greys, you have to be consistent. Not pleasurable but consistent.

Appropriate, since “not pleasurable, but consistent” has been the Cubs’ motto for the last 100 years.

On the nights she wants it rough, she tells him she believes in evolution.

The look Kylie’s going for may be unobtainiumable.