So we're not eating shit?

(chugs while hanging out the passenger side of best friend's ride, trying to holler at women)

I respectfully disagree with this. Does the NBA even have enough talent to expand? The talent distribution is pretty lopsided in the NBA. Adding 2 more teams in small markets wouldn't be good for the competitive balance of the league. If anything, they should be thinking about taking away some teams, but we know that…

Better not invite Will to my cookout with ketchup on hot dogs and Yuengling in the cooler.

YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT BUT NO

WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WATCH THIS?! MY DICK IS BROKEN NOW

Prince's Super Bowl halftime was really fucking good. Especially "Purple Rain" during the actual rain and the marching band covered in glow lights.

You don't need to use the euphemism "possibly accepting extra benefits for his likeness". You can just call it sexual assault.

Benson isn't really a football player, he's basically a protege of his predecessor Ricky Williams. He's a transcendentalist, soft-spoken, gentle, intellectual who happens to have blazing speed and 36 inch calves. The DJ floor is where he belongs. You can smoke weed and be successful at that, and he will never have…