This. Is. Good. Kinja. The Kinja I crave.

Boy, thank god fantasy stats are so applicable to real world success!

Okay, I can agree with this. I’ll be honest I skip the Thursday night game. Not that having Al Michaels will change that, but the NFL is just trying to fight the idea that Thursday is the JV game.

And all the Chicagoans I know (including myself) are so happy they’re not.

but his character made him that six-tool guy

The good news is that unlike the ATMs, tea, snack bars, etc. the condom dispenser will never be empty.

Sort of makes you ask yourself what that kind of stat is actually good for?

I think part of the donation was confusion when Jordan called his finance guy and said, “Hey, put a million on Black for me...thanks”

He wears those stupid necklaces, too.

Lawyer: We’re going to get to the bottom of this.

That was anti-climactic as FUUUUUUUUCK!

Good. The Universe is punishing you for your blasphemy.

should have just won 6-0 6-0 6-0 imo. probably more tired now than he would have been the other way but im not a tennis gyuy

I went to college with Zack Hample. He was a selfish & unpleasant dickwad then and appears to have changed little since then.

So with 9 years of hindsight, the obvious conclusion to draw is...Simmons was 100% correct here?

The main thing I got out of that was that of course this guy was a teetotaler

What I want to know is does he pay off the ushers to move around the stadium during the game to get into prime homerun spots? Also, any GROWN MAN that says he “wants” a homerun ball more than a kid is straight trash.

Batting practice? Oh fuck off (to Hample, not you BP). THAT DOES NOT COUNT.

I could read this, but I’d rather masturbate then read about someone else’s attempt to get themselves off.

You’re one of those. Awesome.