Yeah; it wasn’t just younger siblings. I had a few friends who had one official controller and some janky-ass third party “turbo pad” or something like that.
I even tried one myself for the SNES that was supposed to mash the buttons for you. It had some blue flat pad for the D button, and you slid your thumb across it.…

Started drinking early?

whoa, between Clinton and trump you think SHE’s more likely the pathological liar? Uncovered any child prostitution rings in restaurants lately?

Whatever helps you sleep at night, dumbass. Enjoy your sinking ship.

Can’t imagine why...

The Pitching Couch

with a vinyl windshield cover still on

So, fuck this guy then. He got all the love when he died, but he would clearly have been guilty of manslaughter had he lived. He killed two people.

The lesson, as always: Don’t drink and do cocaine and then leave the bar and go drive your boat as fast as it goes.

He says he wants to pass them down to his eight children of his two wives; two cars to every boy and one to every girl, he says.

Yeah, as a White Sox, Bulls, and Illinois State fan, I should have just stayed the fuck off Deadspin today.

Because the game would be over if he got the ball

Porkchop sandwiches!

Who wants a body massage??

“Nice catch, blanco nino, but too bad your ass got saaaaaaaaaaaaacked.”

First kid comes in with Swag Level on Expert.

I now realize I never properly appreciated how well Kurt Angle sold the Stunner. His combination of bounce/fall was pretty much perfect. And it looked a lot more natural than the Rock’s overblown backflips lol

That second stunner, on Aldo Montoya, was just incredible!
*Badum-Tss*

Great, now I am going to be stuck in front of a computer for the next two hours remembering how great Stone Cold (and wrestling in general) was in my childhood.

“A couple of times I hit a guy with that Stunner, they pissed their trunks. A couple of them even crapped themselves. Hell, one time I hit the stunner and it lead to her calling the cops and our eventual divorce”