for crissakes. i’m in my 40's. i quit weed, can’t find hash, quit pills and powder. 15 drinks is all i want. and you want to take 13 away.

Thats why I always brought 40's of OE to the party.

So why should I stick to just two? You don’t really say why just that I should only have two while being socially awkward about it. If I need to drive or be somewhere early the next day then yes stick to one or two but if I have a ride/taxi/uber and everyone else is drinking and enjoying themselves why would I stick…

Professional wisdom suggests that if this is advice you are considering, you should actually be having zero drinks at parties, and also everywhere else.

Won 100 games and went 11-1 in postseason, only loss by 1 run.

the 2005 Chicago White Sox are one of the 10 best baseball teams of all time

Baylor being filled with scum doesn’t change the fact that Urban is scum himself. He’s doing the right thing only because he has no other options.

Sure, good old Urban, always doing the right thing.

At the start of spring training all players have to sign a waiver allowing their club to publicly release certain information about “work-related” injuries, other leagues have similar measures - and there’s no way an MLB pitcher is going to convince anyone an elbow bone spur is anything other than work related.

Actually, that’s 100% false.

I know, this rich old man who gets to sit on his ass and ramble on about sports all day has really opened my eyes to hard work and dedication.

Getting two extra bases because someone doesn’t know what’s going on is called “The Stanford Swimmer.”

I had zero idea that Spades was an African-American thing. To me, it’s just a card game that I used to play with my cousins and my grandparents when we all got bored of Monopoly.

Spades is a black game? I never knew. I always just considered it remedial Bridge.

More like Draymond Goldust.

Bombs against Boston rarely go over well

I’m 31 and newly married to someone 5 years younger than me, and we are in no rush at all to have kids. I’ll happily be an old dad. A good chunk of my friends are late 20's to early 30's and already have at least one kid, some have two. I’m so goddamn tired of their kids being all over the place that my wife and I…

Because someone will think you're Ted Nugent and respond accordingly?

“Snake in the bag” is also an apt descriptor for most of Jake Roberts’s adult life.

Actually that’s not at all what happened. From snopes: