I can’t stop laughing. I am so glad this guy is a head coach and I am looking forward to his press conferences next year. They are gonna be gold.

That's the thing, it wasn't. He started using I as a word, and now it's a problem. He coached himself up to be a distraction on day 1. Specfuckingtacular. Imagine what he'll be able to do with a year. 

You made me wonder how Drew is doing. His twitter feed shows he too is thinking about Coach Kitchens:

It’s a league that knows how to protect it’s Quarterbacks. I don’t think they ever pretended anyone else was important.

QBs should be required to wear Flubber uniforms.

I said earlier a team’s season would be ruined due to this stupid rule.  I didn’t take into account the damage to a player’s season.

At first, Gumbel, Arians and Green thought he was doing some kind of swimming sack celebration.

Of all the shows to use an example of childish innocence, you go with Pete and Pete...

The producers of Riverdale — your specialists at turning the most benign franchises from your childhood into horrific fever-dreams! Next up, a re-imagining of Pete & Pete in which one of the Pete’s is actually a poltergeist bent on evil deeds.

Too bad he was just kidding. I could totally see him trying to soft-land it on Mars, turning on the Autopilot, and taking it for a drive up there. Isn’t that his end game anyway?

Like there is something bad about that.

I’m just waiting for some scifi film to have a plot point where someone is saved from certain death in Mars orbit by finding and using the Tesla that some guy left in orbit hundreds of years before...

At least it wasn’t a Saturn

All’s good until space pirates jack your ride

He always thought the Tesla Roadster was out of this world.

So strap an equally shaped and weighted flat earth idiot to the other side of the rocket, duh. I’ve played Kerbal, I know what I’m doing.

That’s the chief problem of most conspiracy theories, really. Just telling people would be so much cheaper, easier and not in any way liable to cause more trouble than the supposed coverup. The problem is, the conspiracy theorists have sacrificed so much time, effort and ego to their worldview that they’re…

1. Old idiot blasts off in rocket in hopes of finding Flat Earth evidence.

Yeah but the world would be better off if his rocket explodes on take off...

How about we just duck tape him to the side of the next SpaceX rocket launch instead?