He makes Chris Christie “clean the Jersey turnpike” for him.

Are we sure that’s regular toilet paper and not the Constitution with which he usually wipes his ass?

That’s a very small piece of toilet paper for such a large piece of shit.

Jesus if that’s where Cabbage Patch Kids come from I’d hate to see where Garbage Pail Kids come from...

I have a slightly related question about my plumber...

I hear the whinging of the vegans terrorizing French butchers.

And why didn’t he, the largest friend, simply eat the other five?

He won’t go to gen pop, but he’s totally gonna zip zop wop bippity bee bop.

Bitch.... Michelle O accomplished more in her life BEFORE she became first lady than you and your whole tornado bait trailer trash family have ever even read about. Double Ivy League Graduate. Lawyer. Hospital Administrator. Mother. Go getter. Accomplisher of many things, not the least of which is to be married to a…

I remember the last time I knocked some Lego off of the nightstand and it shot through the wall and severely injured my loved one. 

Maybe John Bellairs AND JK Rowling can both be good writers who wrote fun books. I like it that there are many good books to read instead of just one.

Bye, son.

Agreed. I've never understood the Whataburger love. 

I really like Gaga without the heavy makeup and dyed hair and all. She’s a natural beauty.

It’s nice that they clarified it. That’s a wrap, I guess.

“We apologize to anyone who felt deceived and we see now that we should have been more transparent.”

How in the hell is this not called Duck Cunt?

How is Isabella Rossellini not involved in this?

Nah.  Cinnamon raisin bagels are disgusting and should not exist. 

In five years, Slytherin House is going to be completely legitimate.