While everyone else on campus is pursuing “safe” degrees in business, political science, pre-med, pre-law, we’re the creative professionals. We’re the ones embracing art, academia, and the black experience.

Cool! My ‘research’ is in amateur porn, too.

Do you think Miley Cyrus is glad she “wrote” her 2009 memoir, Miles to Go?

I appreciate that the author had enough self-awareness to say that his guide was intended for current or aspiring douche bags, instead of saying the guide would make you a nice, popular guy or a cool-as-Fonzie dude.

It has a sequel (really!): “Pounded in the Butt by My Book ‘Pounded in the Butt by My Own Butt’” — http://www.amazon.com/Pounded-Butt-M…

Michael Kors’s belly button is herniated. That’s why it looks like that. Mine is, too, so I know of what I speak.

Buffalonian? Cool name. Makes me think of Baloneyan.

Taiwan is a culinary desert? I admit, I have never been there, but the film “Eat Drink Man Woman” made it seem like there’s plenty of culinary potential there. Do you hate Chinese food?

From now on, just ask for gold coins. They’re shiny and make nice musical clinking noises that children like, and are easy to store, even in a small house.

And in Houston, no less!

You overlooked Milan. What a fucking nightmare!

True. Some people don't understand Kashruth (keeping kosher) at all. There was a guy in Louisiana a few years ago who advertised his clams as kosher (no shellfish is kosher at all). He heard in church that Kosher meant 'pure' and clean' (which is incorrect), so he assumed he could say his (perfectly ordinary) clams…

I saw a thigh injury like that once.

Back in '82. I went to an ice cream place in Bloomington, IN, that also served upside-down soft ice cream + mix-ins creations, which they also served upside down. This was also in the pre-Blizzard (R) days.The place had been open for quite some time before I ate there. Somehow, I doubt STL was the first city in on…

That bump is probably just pastrami.

He told the commanding officers to give precedence to the frontline-style political work for giving fullest play to the mental power of the soldier builders, dynamically conduct a socialist emulation, pay deep attention to the supply service for them and take care of them like their real parents would do so that they…

Well, not to nurses.

My dream is to be a celebrity ghostwriter who writes for celebrities who are writing about ghosts.

Finding pumpkin in your baked good is like getting coal in your Christmas stocking (or how I expect it would be. Although I have eaten and despised pumpkin baked goods, I am a Jew and have never had a Christmas stocking.)

Sausage flight?