“Hold my beer. Squatch this.”

Like most of us, you live at least 300 miles away from Heaven.

Bring on the 1.21 gigawatts.

Unpopular opinion:

Chords

OLD WHITE MAN STUCK IN PAST MAKES POOR DECISION

You better have a car faster than an accord

It is very easy for them to do so.. I came back to the local dealership with a fifth of Jameson 18 year limited, sat it on the counter of the service department and said...” It would be a shame if this bottle disappeared and was replaced with a service record printout.”

Buying a Honda Insight is still the worst decision he’s ever made, a problem somehow solved by the second worst decision he’s ever made.

No one ever told them life was going to be this way

I guess you could say they are not “friends” amirite

They probably gave him the rate on the condition that he’d have pants on the next time he walked into a PenFed branch.

Bet you're fun at parties.

I’ve got nothing for this.

Gay divorces just feel more sad for some reason.

HEY GUYS I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

Fuel goes in, vroom comes out. You can’t explain that.

I myself was hoping to start an aftermarket vinyl face sticker business for Model 3 customers... you know, to fund my Model S. >:)