Honestly, I really think that’s the main thing. I think his creditors have kept him just rich enough to sustain his brand, but I don’t remotely believe he has these vast riches that he claims to have. If he had documents proving himself to be as wealthy as he pretends, he’d be whipping them out at every press…

“Facebook thanks you for your submission. It would greatly assist our algorithm if you could re-take the photo while wearing a French maid cap and holding a feather duster. One of our other algorithms was asking if you would mind posing with thigh-high boots and a riding crop.”

Because for a while, it was a fun way for friends from all over to snark on something on TV at the same time (Super Bowl or Oscars). It felt like I was hanging out with people I don’t ever get so see, plus there were comedians and writers that I like hanging out with us.

“Although we can take a joke, it’s got to be a very mild joke. Maybe one where one of our technicians...er...heroes walks into a bar? Probably don’t include the 12 inch pianist though.”

It’s funny that “top donors” of the GOP are actively courting him. Like they are so desperate for candidates they’re like “Kid Rock, well shucks he’s an American badass I hear!”