I have two for the list, though not sure how they’ll stack up against others here:

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

Das Sad.

I’m quickly becoming convinced that I’m the only person on Jalopnik that can have fun in a hybrid.

unpimp ze diesel?

I came here expecting mindless bandwagoneering Prius hate, and I was not disappointed.

Good to see Google Translate is as fluent as always.

If two men get in, is it still monocoque?

I used to hate Harley’s, for the same reasons everyone mentions, they aren’t fast, the don’t handle particularly well and in general the culture around them isn’t all that...appealing, but when it came time to buy a more reliable bike than my 82 XJ750, my dad somehow convinced me to buy the Sportster. I wanted more of…

I’ve got some pretty good/awful tales from my time on the road...

One time

It wasn’t until I remembered that Fran Drescher was happily married to Shiva Ayyadurai that I realized you didn’t literally mean Fraben. Dreschfleck?

If you’re not reading her stuff, you’re wrong, period

Dey durk er durrrrr!

Them SUV’s terk err jerbs!

this whole thing is fifty shades of cray

All he had to do was change a light bulb for $5 and it was good as new again. Then he drove it another 10,000 miles and only had to repair two radiator hoses, replace a crank-position sensor, a mass-airflow sensor, two ECU’s that he found in a junkyard he just happened to be passing by at midnight, reupholstered the…

This is how it would really happen.