Which is also a great internet pseudonym or band name.

Yes.

The woman on the other end of the line didn’t know he was jerking off while they talked.

I learned everything I needed to know about her from the “I forced my servants to buy lemonade from me” story.

And because rules are for other people, she doesn’t need to pay attention to them. Rules of the road, rules of probation, not her problem.

I need a new TWOP in my life.

This is a great parallel to the Trump administration. Who knew it would be hard to coordinate a music festival? Who needs competent administrators? Who needs armies of volunteers and paid staff? Just spread the word on instagram and it will all fall into place.

I have no problem with people believing in new age mumbo-jumbo, but so much of it is freely available. This is status-seeking. Not just any mumbo-jumbo, the most expensive and exclusive mumbo-jumbo.

I have the barbell. You’ve got to warm it pre-use but otherwise it’s really helpful. Dishwasher safe, easy to keep clean.

Laura Dern was amazing in that episode, so easy to understand how Ellen could be attracted to her. My favorite part of the episode wasn’t the actual coming out, but when Dern joked she gets a toaster for every closeted person she convinces to come out.

“To talk him out of doing crazy things.”

Yep, and it looks like they stopped scrolling directly into another article.

Oh honey, just ‘cause he’s nice to you and nice to people when you’re around doesn’t mean he’s incapable of horrible acts.

And our current president is the living embodiment of the yahoo comments section.

I made the public/public typo in my senior year of high school. Luckily the teacher thought it was hilarious so I got an A anyway.

He claims not to know who he is, but somehow knows the completed details of his alleged crime. Right.

Her whole demeanor is wrapped up in certain type of sexy. She’s beautiful, but she never looks merely beautiful, it’s always focused toward the male gaze.

Maybe it was...

Cackling at my desk, thank goodness the boss is out.

One-hit is my mantra now. We just recently legalized in MA so we don’t have dispensaries/retail outlets yet.