All I want to talk about now is the evil stepbitchmonster my dad married.

Ugh. That was good discretion on your dad's part. I have a friend whose father just had a baby with his 20-something girlfriend (younger than my friend), and he named the baby after himself, apparently forgetting that he already had a son with his name.

What about when you come over to your mom's house for Chanukkah and she tells you she wrote a rap song, even though she doesn't listen to rap or any other music made after 1970, and her rap song is all about aging gracefully and looking beautiful and includes the term "bling"? I handled it by eating a bunch of olives…

I was at Disneyland (with my daughter) and this dude & his daughter was in line with us. We'd been waiting for kind of a long time and were nearing the front and his kid was acting up a bit. "Do that one more time, and you're not going on that ride," he said. They were next to go on the ride when the kid did it again.

My dad and his girlfriend have a three month old baby. This summer he came to visit me to help with my recovery after surgery: a surgery where I wasn't sure if I would emerge from with one less ovary. Ovary kept, but I may have issue getting pregnant. Fine. Whatever. A week after the surgery my dad tells me that him…

Also he hates fruit pies. That's some bullshit right there.

Delta Bell, sounds like a Creole fast food restaurant. Taco Bell's cousin.

OH. DEAR. GOD. I . HAVE. ONE.

I was 21 and had recently moved from D.C. to Portland to start college. I was accompanied by my boyfriend at the time, a chef who had wooed me with elaborate picnics, five course breakfasts, etc. This is when I first discovered that chefs generally don't like to cook at home.

The Best Gift I Ever Got:

Best gift from sis this year? Her old iPhone 4s - on her plan - paid for. Last year she picked up Mom's landline/cable/phone - for life. DAMN. Woman can gift.

My father's sister - my aunt - used to give my sister and I crap because she was jealous of/hated my mother for the myriad reason adult women resent or dislike each other. My parents were happily married, she was not, my sister and I were both healthy - her son was severely disabled, her mother got along with my…

EVERYBODY I MUST SHARE THIS.

Two years ago, from my very Catholic, very pro-life grandmother to me, her very atheist, very pro-choice granddaughter:

That was the same year that she gave me work pants with the price tag helpfully left on them ($3.50 at Ross, no receipt) while my brother got a PS2, new TV, and $150 skateboard. It was basically a "Yeah, you're 18 and so you're an adult and you must grow up" gift. In the years since then she's stopped being a petty…

I created a burner account because this story is so mortifying. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, then marriage for over 20 years. No matter how I toiled and sacrificed, nothing was ever good enough, including gifts. Circumstances conspired so that I ended up jobless before a Christmas some years ago,…

Worst: my boyfriend at the time gave me a framed and autographed head shot of himself. It would have been funny if he hadn't actually been an aspiring actor, but he was. He managed to score a small speaking part in a movie that was filmed in our midwestern city, and then we went to the cast and crew premiere and his…

My birthday is on Christmas.

My idiot husband informed his mother that we had been thinking of having another child (like not immediately, just that we could possibly not be one and done).