Starring Miranda Cosgrove and directed by Christian Bale

Not quite as bad. She had the show designate the cars as prizes, so that the show wouldn't have to pay taxes on buying that many cars (276 of them, if I'm reading news sources correctly). The problem is, that means that the recipients had to pay the tax on those cars. You know, the recipients that were so destitute…

Gah. People gripe that the BB is sooooo 2006, but those iPhone things are as "elegant" 2001-era Nokia sliders. Tacky tacky tacky.

I blame Oprah for two of TV's biggest quacks and charlatans: Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz.

How come Ashlee's sister's ex-husband gets a mention, but not Ashlee's own ex? The guy from Fall Out Boy who wears much too much eyeliner.

because keyboard

Can we also demand to get paid the same as men? Because then maybe it would make sense for them to be wined and dined. (Not that men don't deserve to be pampered. No one should act like an entitled prick, though, including women.)

Ashlee Simpson: The "and guest" of her own life.

I'm not convinced that rotary phone is actually rotary. It looks like it's push buttons set in a rotary pattern, which was a thing at one time. If my house were wired for phone (don't ask) I would totally consider this one, though, because it's lovely.

If I did that to a guy, and then he put his hands on the back of my head LIKE THAT GUY IS DOING, as if to say, "Good start, but could you pick up the pace a little?" ... guess what I would do? GUESS. Hint: it involves me saying "whoops" and him having to give a five-minute explanation whenever he uses a urinal. No…

I'll tell you what, boys: if you can find something to wear other than a grubby t-shirt and jeans, shave once in awhile, spend as much time on your hair and skin in the morning as women do, and learn how to make eyes at me across the room, I'll ask you out and pay for your dinner. Of course, I reserve the right to…

Ewww even if you ask them to move and they immediately comply, you will still be sitting down on some fresh muddy bootprints. Jerks.

That guy who reserved an entire seat for his backpack makes me wanna stand right next to him and place a *fake*, hysterical sounding call to transit authorities to loudly report an…

"ungraying the assholes" is a phrase I just never thought I'd hear in my life... or agree with so much.

This bullshit happened on the train home last week. I walk on, look for a seat, there are three open. However, three jackasseed digbats decided to sit like this:

LOL @ the guy who's like, "We have no choice - it's different for a woman!"

Yup, when I was doing theater I stage managed a production of Come Back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean, in a very small, black box theater. We had a really fabulous fifties drugstore set, and I had to literally stand on it during intermission to keep audience members from walking around on it and picking…

This may be slightly off topic, but people who respond to Facebook RSVPs with "Maybe" should be fined, if not jailed.

$20 says the crew was in the wings holding the stage manager back from killing that asshole. You do NOT walk across a live set. Rude, uncouth rectal marionette...