The hair is great

The cat is judging your eyebrows

I want your nails

I adore this

Lovely

Me toooo

Yup that’s why you can count the number of photos of me where you can see my teeth.

I can’t unsee that

Those dresses are AMAZING

My version of protesting the dress code was coming up with the most obnoxious outfit possible that didn’t violate the dress code and daring someone to punish me. This involved Christmas lights, duct tape and a cape.

My college graduation photos are a s-t show because you can see my ring from my ex when I’m holding my diploma. Yes my parents keep it framed in the house, ugh

Class of 2000. I refuse to post pictures because I was voted funkiest or most interesting style (I can’t remember the term) in my senior class. Uh yeah, I looked like Neil Gaiman and Joss Whedon had an baby and dropped it in Middle Earth. Those photos need to stop finding their way onto the internet

I miss shoes like that

OH MY GOD. I HAVE A FRIEND VISITING THIS WEEKEND. WE HAVE A MISSION. RED ALERT

Or you can just have mine from my mom’s basement. I swear she keeps this crap to humiliate me. It’s actually silver because 1999.

Students from the 2 Catholic universities in Ohio make a point of visiting and seeing if they can get kicked out from mocking. It’s basically a contest at this point. Last I checked the seminary had been banned.

It’s hard. At a certain point it’s easier to say you will save 1/4 of the money and risk crappy weather if you have the wedding in November. People are going to complain about stuff no matter what and around here it’s a coin flip if it’s going to be 2008 and 80 degrees or 2014 and snowing. But sure thing that 7/31…

My mom pulled this one at least twice. You can actually tell at what ages I was most emotionally screwed up by my hair

I refer to the middle school wing as “hormones, ax body spray and hell-stench”. The principal has stolen this.

The stink of children-specifically teenage boys-in warm weather should be a special category.