NOW IT’s STUCK IN MY HEAD

I honestly think it’s bullshit wedding dresses are 2K but getting sleeves or asking to have them added requires a Hogwarts spell

If I get married this is going to be my hell. Plus the religion issue. I still have 2 good friends from high school and 3 from college (from different social groups). 2, maaaybe 3, of them will kinda support how Catholic my wedding will be. I’d really rather have my guy friend from grad school as my best man because…

Good for you!

someone sort of gets my Doctor Who references!

Welcome to my personal hell. I know the kids well enough to know for a fact their kids are already looking at porn and doing all sorts of things by the 7th grade. Oh and at least 1/2 the girls have been getting their periods for at least a year. But their parents want my head on a pike if I say the word puberty…

Even the water is poison

I had this issue with cross contamination due to shrimp once. Everyone was so impressed with my projectile vomiting.

She’s wearing heels 10 hours after giving birth. I can’t get over it.

She was basically outside for 5 minutes, then went inside for a car seat. There’s probably no way she wasn’t wearing post-partum stuff under there. I hope to God she got to change when she got home.

Wasn’t there a story somewhere that she couldn’t even have a damn cell phone? She’s retaking pre-algebra to help her kids because she never had an education of her own (thanks her own parents) and her dad is still controlling her life.

This. I wasn’t super into her music but there was a point were I had this overwhelming, creepy urge to make her go like camping for a week and get the hell away from everyone in her life.

I’m concerned I like one of these dresses. I’m also on this weird kick where I like black and white wedding dresses b/c I watch/read too much Harry Potter so...

Yes. He just gets no credit for anything.

He’ll probably have Fr Benedict do it, that was his job for the better part of 30 years. Then have a cat bite someone. I love Papa Benny.

They actually just un-excommunicated each other. They’re finally sharing Easter! Yay!

Thank you, now I will spend the rest of the evening over analyzing the fact I shared desert with a guy I like earlier this week

Situation #1 is currently my personal hell so I’m actively avoiding the entire kissing issue. Never has my user name been more appropriate.

Because I am the destroyer of joy I regularly tell people not to order the meatball sub at Subway unless they know the Subway they go to. I worked at Subways for years and there are 2 ways you can prep the meatballs. One is the correct way, the other is the fast way. The fast way will give people food poisoning.

Because Jimmy John’s is run by a rapist who goes big game hunting? (I don’t have an issue with their food, I hate Jimmy John the person)