Having worked at Subway I can tell you that people order that several times a week. It smells super-gross if it’s toasted too

I have a cat who is 7 who hasn’t calmed down (he’s brain damaged). He’s the cat version of a lab. Luckily not all cats are like this.

I’m so sorry

I was so out of it during my Grandma’s viewing I obsessed about how the funeral home screwed up her makeup. And fixed it. This has now become a Family Story. But they didn’t put my Grandma’s makeup on correctly and everyone may piss off.

No kidding. I have lists of these

There are certain times of the year (basically March-May and December) where my work schedule is shot to hell. It is incredibly nice to live by myself and not inflict this on another person. Or to be judged for napping at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon because reasons.

Crockpot adventures are a frequent thing at my house

One of my cats knows how to open doors like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park, except they are normal door knobs. I've just learned to live with it but it's going to be really bad if we ever live with anyone else because bathrooms.

Awww

“I’m having a bee moment” has become my stupid shortcut for “I cannot lie and say I’m ok”. Which is totally a rip off of her epically awesome show.

Cheesecake Factory. They actually make fish tacos.

Which election had people so off the rails they were accusing Ben & Jerry’s of supporting Planned Parenthood?

I still mock a certain Republican for his total inability to know how to park in pre-Vatican 2 Catholic Church parking lots and his security people getting yelled at by cranky church ladies.

No joke. There are parts of LA that I can’t believe aren’t just full of car wrecks

Being the adult in that situation fetching the child from the bathroom it is nearly *impossible* not to find a way not to find a way of find a way to do 80’s movie-style revenge on the asshole kid. You revert to the 9th grade and raaaaage.

There’s a bunch of shows that have weird issues. Mad about You still isn’t completly on dvd & isn’t on streaming. Roseanne isn’t on streaming. It’s weird.

You don’t get to live in Ohio. I wish to be relocated to a Mars colony soon. I was living in Dayton when they announced the horror that was Palin (that happened there)...it was like someone bought out the 4th of July super store.

The one who wears all his suits 2 sizes too big?

But don’t worry, they’ll tell the women it’s easy to do.

Believe me, we get this ranty phone calls every year after Easter and Christmas. I am not looking forward to work tomorrow.