“Hi Jay, this is Dave from North Side Yamaha checking in. We were doing an internal audit and noticed that you haven’t responded to any customer service emails in 13 years. We want to make sure you are still fully satisfied with your purchase. Call me back.”

Please, call me Ken. Mister Tar Heel is my father.

At least Mr. Tar Heel showed up. Mr. Orange is too busy trying to win the Wisconsin primary with a fuzzy message on abortion.

D’Angelo Russell chose #0 because that’s the number of people who can defend him. Finally, he’s right!

That’s not fair. Some might be tight ends in the NFL too.

With at least 3 different sentences of 80+ words. Yikes.

Not that I disagree with what you and Patrick have both said about the state of the program, but is it really necessary to have two pieces published on the same day detailing how far back the MNT is?

It’s so simple why we aren’t good at soccer. Our best athletes play other sports. The top 100 goalies in the world are American. Unfortunately for hipsters, they play in the NBA .

this is first time Mark Landsberger has ever been mentioned on the Internet.

So close with the first hanging fruit joke!

A slight addition - Hitler was about to be captured by the Soviets, not the Americans (which would have been way worse for him) when he killed himself (OR DID HE?). That gives you a chance to descend into the rabbit hole of Stalin, Communism, and the Cold War, too.

Or maybe escaped to Argentina.

Correction: Hitler was about to be taken by The Russians when he offed himself.

First you get the Miller, then you get the Pabst, then you get the Weyerbache.

I don’t speak Spanish too well. … I think it was a Cuban person, frustrated about the politics of it, I guess. He threw two beer cans. Nobody got hit. Nobody did anything. Maybe some guys got wet. It was a Cuba thing.

Here’s a tip from a dog lover for people who don’t own dogs. There were some basic mistakes by the players in this video. The dog is scared. If you are seen as a threat, the dog will not come. Don’t jog up to it and expect it not to cower when you clumsily grasp at it. Just wait for it to approach you while your hand…

tin foil is to keep Xeny outside his head.

Me too! And then again for being a dog owner who apparently doesn’t give a fuck about training his dog.

Cameras on all cops, NOW. I would love to see the footage of what really went down, because I suspect reality bears no resemblance to what was described in court. Of course, that did fuck all for Tamir Rice, so who am I kidding?

Devastating.