I agree with #1, but you forgot the obvious #2:

Blando Calrissian?

That’s the joke!

She also gave him up.

That’s what I do, but my friends and I share the same vocabulary like “spoons.” If you’re not a group of friends who get what that means, it can be really hard to come up with “just the right response” to explain why you can’t properly respond. 

I can't believe you let Rick Astley down like that.

I know his name is Cal Kestis, but in my headcanon he has been redubbed Tadd Blanderson.  

“...both have led to a situation where I have no idea what’s going on.”

In other words, he said the quiet part loud?

It applies to Nelson - but saying you don’t think a book or author belongs on some prestigious list is not stepping out of line. 

Indiana Jones punched nazis. Just sayin

It’s easier to dismiss valid criticism as Russian agents or Bernie Bros than to understand the toxic capitalism and foreign policy that Hillary Clinton’s poltical career has ultimately encapsulated (I wonder if we had the universal-healthcare-Clinton of old rather than the apologist she has become we probably would…

I thought milk was healthy because I bought the dairy PSAs until I saw the sugar content when I was tracking my calories.

*raises hand*  I do.  Usually with Oreos.  Hell, sometimes I drink straight from the jug because I get a craving.

You’re probably right but I wish she’d just say she’s not running. I don’t think giving self-flattering and cagey responses to flex her muscles is exactly helpful either. 

Dear National Democrats/Idiots/“Friends of Hillary”

Don’t worry, they took down the most-highly trafficked site in their portfolio too. This is peak venture capital.

They shouldn’t have written all those sports stories.

This isn’t surprising. Many of us grew up seeing what happens when people buy into the “work hard, party hard” pattern. It is a stressful way to live that often leads to long stretches of being miserable and all-too-brief moments of unbridled joy. This often leads to ridiculous things like rebelling against the world…

Have you tried blackout stripping?