The second video - capturing the reaction of the game clock instead of the players. Interesting choice.

I hope someday to find one thing as funny as Jimmy Fallon finds everything.

Most Likely To Fail Upward

Also “Royal” as in “Royal Crown cola” usually known as “RC”. RC: remote control. Like the drones that are hovering over us *right now* and helped to fake the moon landing. It’s all connected man. CAN’T YOU SEE!??!?! #Nobama #SecretMuslim #SecretLizardPerson

Dear Mr. Phelps,

Due to his ability to distract Oregon State shooters, Michael Phelps has been recruited by the FBI to Malheur National Wildlife Refuge.

I once was out of town and I called my wife around 5:00 PM on a Saturday. I was renting a room and after the call I took a little nap.

Two cops walked in the gym during my JV basketball game. When the door banged shut behind them, the power forward on the other team turns around and books it out the other end of the gym. We got a few seconds of 4-on-5 play thanks to Johnny Misdemeanor, but still lost by fucking 20.

Judging by the grammar, 100%.

Neh, it was the time his son hit a home run off him in Spring Training and the next pitch was up and in.

Well, at least this is a more socially acceptable ped accusation than some of the others Clemens has recieved.

Prediction: Bonds gets in as soon as Cooperstown clears some cap room.

“Napoleon Dy-no-mite!”

Your answer is informative, helpful, and non-judgmental. I hate it and I hate you, too.

Wheel of cheese I ate.

“Hey hun, would you mind spending the next couple of hours watching something that you have zero interest in?”

That Peter King tweet is so great because he is literally saying that, after hearing Cam’s quote, Ron Rivera, Chan Gailey, John Harbaugh turned white.

Texts, or workplace IMs. SAY WHAT YOU’RE GONNA SAY.

I was firmly reminded of my Ukrainian heritage one night when the only thing I had in the apartment was a head of cabbage. Cooked it in butter, ate it with sour cream. Babunia would have been proud.