A company I used to work for (an extremely large national banking institution) once drafted a new letter to be mailed to our ~30,000 delinquent homeowners offering assistance and loss mitigation options. The letter made it through the drafter, the department head, a committee, and legal. Everyone focused extensively…

Here’s a tip: Go back to 1999 and load up on EBAS when it’s $.30 per share. It goes to $19 per share in about 3 hours on internet rumors, sell it. Buy it back when it drops to $3 per share. It goes back to $14 per share. Sell it. This all happens before lunch, then it drops to $.80 per share and glides down to…

True story: Back in 1999, during the dot com bubble, I made $30,000 in one day fucking around on a penny stock when my salary was $34,000 per year. I went out, got shitfaced, and paid cash for a new Saleen Mustang. Best car I’ve ever owned.

Do you really have to ask?

“Nobody tries anything different or daring anymore.”

Okay, this seemed desperate but it turned out it wasn’t.

Sounds like a typical scientist/engineer. They look at the data (can he function without her) and make a decision based on the data (yes, he can) and people’s feelings don’t matter.

My parents were moving from PA to CA, with my Mom’s VW bug and my dad’s custom Chevy van (he had a business installing stereos/waterbeds/etc in the mid 70s, and he swares he quit doing it because “they took the good stuff out of the glue”).

Young, cocky Air Force officer pulls up to an apartment building to pick up a blind date in his shiny new E-Type.

Kept driving it until the engine gave out. Added more air fresheners.

“Pfft. Amateur.”

Because it implies personal responsibility for your achievements in life, and that hurts people’s feelings.

The “activities” may not have happened at all if you kept the van.

My 10 year-old son went go-karting for only the 3rd time by himself the other day. One of the other kids inadvertently caught his left rear wheel and turned him backwards.

“a common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.” - Douglas Adams

i like saying polestar as if it rhymes with molester