Perceptive? She thinks she's just gonna jet around the world and have adventures the rest of her life with no effort. Her perception of the world is on par with a 5 year old's.

For context, she just turned 18, she's a burgeoning alcoholic / drug user, and works (min wage) at a chocolate store. She recently was kicked out of her parents house for refusing rehab (hence the "kids hate their parents" spiel), and spends most of her time taking self-shots in mirrors to fish for compliments on FB…

Check out this...thing... from someone on my facebook:

...holy shit.

Yep.

For my fellow college-going Jezzies:

Gears of War: Because women can only grow perfect hair, not muscles!

Oh god, this so much.

I've never successfully received a package sent to my by a friend via UPS. Every single time, it gets "lost". Birthday presents, Xmas presents... in 3 years, I've gotten nothing. Just excuses from UPS. It helped that when I threatened to lawyer up and contacted the BBB, some bigwig got in contact with us and…

Was it intentional?

@Mark 2000: Bantha poodoo!

"Britney has shown absolutely no ill effects from the treatment and has always been a happy child. To say she is being abused is plain ridiculous."

I ate a sandwhich nearly every day for lunch from K - 12. Canadian schools aren't big on cafeterias.

Just bring up topics of conversation that will let you see what sort of person he is. Ask what he thinks of slut walks, if he would vote for a female president in 2012, etc. Just be creative, and the conversations will be both fun and enlightening.

They covered up his smurfberries!

Veggie chips + hummus.

Okay, when your underwear looks like a ladle, it's time to just give up and either buy clothes that fit comfortably, or go commando.

I smile at everyone I make eye contact with. It's called being friendly.

@QAZZY: Actually, eggs are one of the best ways to get your protein. Eggs have all the amino acids the body needs, complex carbohydrates, and the cholesterol is the good kind that you're supposed to eat.

@teebear: Just get a shitload of extensions. Nobody is going to notice from in the stands.