“They also burned coaches...”

Umpire Tosses Dick Who Argued Balls And Strikes; Tossed Ball Strikes Umpire’s Dick And Balls

I would never order pizza from LA, not even “for fun.”

“He can no longer grow in size or transform into the Ultra Warrior.”

Or thirteen beers.

Aka the “I’m brave enough to order a first-year FCA product” badging.

Foster care? Well of course they are out of control.

Subaru wore it better:

Register that Veryca for business use, then you can deduct the annual fees from your income tax. That’s how all the farmers do it, and it’s why alot of them have their license plate numbers written in huge block letters on the back door.

Not ugly. Plus you could change the nose to B Y T M E.

Sure, Wong logged out, but he also had one of the single best lines in the movie: “I wouldn’t say no to a tuna melt.”

This is maybe the least surprising thing I’ve ever heard.

Don’t these people know better than to get on a bus with Keanu Reeves? 

Jeez louise this news really hits home. How could this happen to such a great guy?

An official KonMario kit!

i remember when i was in 7th grade and told my teacher i couldn’t decide what to do with my life/career. i told her it was between playing center for the blazers and crocodile wrestling. she told me that as long as i was careful and avoided stingrays, i should take up gator fighting.

Crazy I know, Indycars are almost as slow as the Williams

Don’t eat at Chipotle.  

“There’s less rules than on planes, and nobody gets dragged off through the aisle like on a plane. People have more time to go nuts and do crazy things.”