So it’s still got a quarter tank left from the original fill-up?

Since when are pigs considered humans? They’re farm animals. 

Citation needed

One of the writers of EW put out an article today/yesterday about how he is having a renaissance (JW, TS4 and B&T) all in the course of a week, and why people should be getting on board.

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

Ichiro is my favorite player who has never played for my team and it’s not even close.

Son, I don’t think you’re imagining big enough

What if I mix the SSB with alcohol? Surely this is a two wrongs make a right situation!

overqualified, thank you for your interest

Why is he suing Devin Nunes’ Cow? Is he saying he is the cow? Shouldn’t it be his cow suing instead? What about his cows rights? Devin Nunes is Bovinygnist!

At least they both have an engine from the same family, so it wouldn’t be that blasphemous.

Well, he did almost write her off...

Black box recordings from the Lion Air flight show this cycle repeated 21 times, with the captain eventually attempting to pull the plane’s nose back up with force before the plane dived into the sea.

Ironically enough, it’s a bad president who started all this shit in the first place.

Not to be pedantic, but I believe you mean a bad precedent. A bad president is ... well, you know.

For the alt-right trolls:

Disney: “Hey wait a minute, we just remembered: we like money. Maybe it WAS a mistake to indulge a bunch of Trump cultists after all.”