I am just going to post this here:

Toepick!

Barbiturates.

I only liked the show the first two seasons, but then it got stupid.

Nicole Kidman was kinda busy that day so she sent in her friend Naomi Watts to do the Vanity Fair cover shoot and you’re telling me NO ONE noticed?

This is the first I have watched the nominee announcement. I really liked the videos at the beginning, I thought they did a great job of highlighting the importance of those categories. As for the rest I would rather have just read the names instead of having them announced to me - it was irritating. As much as I…

Tom Brady is Trump’s illegitimate son by someone with slightly better teeth than his other partners but with even less brains. The whole red-glove thing was thought up by Trump’s illegitimate cousin, Bill Bellicheck.

I’m glad you and your mom were able to get away!

Funny you should mention that:

He is on Ambien, he probably sleep twitting and then doesn’t recall it.

I (almost) attended a wedding where the groom ditched two days before. Fucker disappeared for a full week only calling the bride’s mother to apologize. We later learned he went “camping” with a “platonic” female friend he later moved in with. No one saw it coming.

I also attended a wedding where I knew for a fact the…

I don’t know but she quoted Frederick Douglass in there.

That’s pretty horrible. Also, I’m sure you don’t know, I’m just a weirdo, but why’d they even file the signed marriage license if the marriage fell apart just after the “I do”s?

Find out Tuesday when he gives a briefing.

I am now imagining a Lifetime movie in which a socialite gone bad .has to mend her ways and get back on track after being proposed to with a ring she previously sold to a pawn shop

On the list of the most punchable faces, Trump and that weasel Ryan are neck and neck 1-2.

I, hand to Zeus, believe Trump is capable of starting a war with either North Korea or Iran to deflect from the Mueller probe.

Yes, and I always noticed how tiny her wine glasses were! I wonder what the doctor gave her...maybe some sort of opiate tincture or laudunum?