We are well past the statute of stupid on nude pics. Just don’t take the picture! That picture, even if you delete it without sending anywhere, gets stored on the phone. It ends ups in backups or the cloud or whatever. They are there even if you don’t know it. Wake up! Unless you’re really hot; then never mind.

Joey and Phoebe were intellectual soul mates. Supposably.

Here is sunny AZ, where a big fucking cloud parked itself in front of the eclipse 2 minutes after it started. We’re only supposed to get 65% at peak, but there is not any bit of shadow on the ground. I’m pissed. We put up with the 120-degree days to the fucking sun!

If I were in Melania’s place, I would yell into my sheetcakes until I got so fat Donnie stopped noticing I was even in the room.

I have more guest towels than I have guests. My place is not set for entertaining.

The reboot Jetsons will be (spoiler) humanoid Cylons. Racial divide will be replaced by generational Intel® cores.

Gucci needs to put to an interview to clarify facts of the situation. Otherwise, can anyone walk into Gucci offices and post signs on their windows?

Logo whores have no sense of decency. I’m sure it’s tourist crap like that which pays the bills.

Did you mention, Cox. Yeah, they really suck, too.

I guess I need to look this one up for better understanding, but my understanding is conception happens when egg becomes fertilized with sperm. So the “birth” term is throwing me. I never thought the birth was Immaculate Conception, but that it referred to Mary getting impregnated without sperm/intercourse. The IC…

If you got the skids, you need more fiber in your diet. I don’t take chances. I drink a cup of Metamucil every morning. Most of the time, there’s nothing even on the first wipe after my morning constitutional. It was a game changer.

I never feel clean without a power wash with a hand held shower head.

I’m probably someone that doesn’t sweat enough, but there was one medication I took that completely reversed that trend. Walking up one flight of stairs would cause sweat to poor down my face. Any slight normal movement caused sweating. It took several weeks after stopping that med to get back to normal.

Oh shit! That guy is breeding? Wait! That guy is getting laid? Anyway, this couldn’t have happen to more deserving people.

I think you may suffer stretch marks from that headline.

Common practice among us whites, in coversation, we will whisper only the ‘black’ word, or maybe just mouth it. There is guilt in just recognizing someones appearance.

Every time I see him, I think: a balloon with a face drawn on.

Vice President Smug Bastard hasn’t skirted lies in the past. This may be some reverse psychology, but I think he’s too dumb. He was most likely confused by the question.

Actually, many, many good people have told me: Trump invented fire. He’s just waiting on the patent.

Good thing we only declare war on ‘rumors’ of weapons of mass destruction, otherwise we would be in trouble.