If I was them I wouldn't have made that mistake.

Not always the same. Sometimes I close the blinds and the neighbors don't call the cops.

Neat. I would have kind of guessed the opposite (in that the narcissist would be a good gift-giver) because it'd be part of the need for adoration, but it makes way more sense that the self-absorption would be too great

She used to use stone tablets, so the shape is agreeable?

Ha! You'd give up meat so you could give meat.

Deep down, we're all monopsonistic.

"Me? I can't usually get [burgers] because my girlfriend's a vegetarian, which pretty much makes me a vegetarian."

It's a hoax. They ran the film backwards.

Isn't she the Miracle Jerker?

Sometimes you catch the bus. Sometimes the bus catches you.

Babies don't get made by blowjobs, so almost no one comes from them.

It's better to regret something you did than something you didn't do.

Hey, that remark about the dog was the first smartass thing that came to mind.

He has three kids if his wife hasn't fucked him since March? How many kids does he have if his wife hasn't fucked him since October?

I have white skin and am a well-equipped fan of cornbread who likes really spicy food and is good at math but lazy.

Dan would tell you to hire a sex worker and tip them well.

Also, I don't remember people sympathizing with Lewinsky.

Illegitimate answer:
It's all retro 80s now. Bangs are back in.

If you weigh the "I have anger problems" part heavily then the "I'm encouraged to smoke weed" part makes more sense.

Pragmatically speaking, 60% certainty from a guy hurling narcissistic rage doesn't amount to much for real world probability. Don't bother.