Dear San Diego,

The clock on my wall broke at 4:06 pm last week. So in 14 minutes I’m looking forward to yelling, “Missouri!”

Surprising. Usually Patrick Kane is the one with the loose dick.

Little known fact: Phil got dumped because one night he tried to move to the back of the Buss without asking first.

Can you give them a few days? They haven’t even raised their AFC South Second Runner-Up banner yet.

Eli, sadly, was not invited

The Nice Guys ruled. You eat shit.

Hey look, an Iowa fan.

On the one hand, yes, it’s kind of classless to attempt that shot. On the other hand, who fucking cares? Why do sports have to be so sanctimonious all of the time?

As much as I hate the Blues, this joke is not good.

Oh man, when I eventually see Pop get emotional over this, I’m going to turn to fucking ribbons.

Every other show on HGTV has this plot. The other half of HGTV shows are “people are looking for a house, what will they buy.” That’s it. That is every show on the channel.

My wife and I watched this show and the contractor was always by far my favorite part. Tarek walks him through and the contractor just keeps piling on, and on, with this shit-eating grin on his face.

This made me laugh, but you skipped my two favorite steps: He walks his contractor through a house that is basically collapsing on itself and covered in mold and guesses it will cost $30k to flip, doing purely cosmetic renovations; the flip costs between $80k and $120k and he learns nothing from the experience that…

Now that is a take.

I was skiing in Sun Valley, Idaho about 20 years ago... Schwarzenegger strutted in, in a tight, purple ski suit. I’m putting on my boots on the bench to the side, he puts his hands on his hips, stops and say “See, Marie, we are one of the normal people” and marched up stairs.

I was alone in an elevator with Ruth Bader Ginsburg and she farted. I was going to ignore it like a gentleman when she said “woah did somebody step on a duck.” We both laughed and she turned to me and said “no one will ever believe you if you tell this again.” She is one wise lady.

Agreed. I just hope one day they realize, yes, you did let your son die. And it is your fault.