“A person she has always liked is Michelle Obama.”
“A person who writes for a living is me.”
“Issue number one, is the first issue we’re going to talk about.”

!! I’m on my way, and I’m bringing other hip 90s accoutrements, such as black lipstick and a ripped flannel shirt.

I love the entire first album so much, but yeah, the last half is definitely undercelebrated. The Background and Motorcycle Driveby are probably my favorite 2 songs of theirs.

3EB is my favorite, and while I’ve never apologized for that even though I know it’s objectively wrong, I apologize even less now. “Raise your hand if you believe in science!” Yes.

yeeeesssss I can’t wait to see it!

definitely do! you’re welcome!

The Bill Barnwell podcast interviewed him the week after he got eliminated and it made me like him even more. He was SO charming and funny and needs to please just marry me immediately.

Not even gonna lie, I snapped him a picture of my dog the other day. LOOK, WELLS. ALSO VERY CUTE. AKA WE’RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER.

Derek! The Jim likeness was uncanny. I was #TeamWells until he got eliminated even though there was a 0% chance of him winning.

right? you can only go so far solely on blazing sexual chemistry. (top 4 far! but maybe not marriage far.)

Hey, can you blame her? I would sister-wife myself to Olivia Munn in .25 seconds.

I’m for it, but... can he talk enough to be the next Bachelor? He’s so quiet/brooding, which has served him well, but I think there would be a lot of awkward pauses if he were to date 25 women at once.

that would require THEM all being able to read first.

Devastating.

Incredibly fucked. CGM’s tweet said “Everyone in this industry needs to get their heads out of a hole and look around to realize what’s ACTUALLY happening in the REAL world”. You’d think from Khloe’s response that she’d called Kim a blown-out slut and told her to go fuck herself. Totally blown out of proportion and…

Yep, my last gym did as well. But let's be honest, what rules DO apply to hawt models?

“Anyway, the point is I’m feeling vulnerable to attack.”

Someone please point me in the direction of a free-range, locally-sourced Etsy shop where I can have this crocheted onto a throw pillow?

Yeah, this seems to be the general consensus. I’m for it!

This is why I love the Jezebel commentariat. <3

Well, duh. Obviously the only important thing about women is how we look! (Imagine being like this person and believing that. So incredibly sad.)