So true. Except it actually would be “I’m sorry if anyone was offended.” Because clearly it’s not HER fault they were offended!

Ding ding ding! If she tries to spin this into a career as an “anti-bullying activisit” or some other related horseshit, I’ll jump out a window.

“Because I am new to Snapchat, I didn’t realize that not everyone has the same body type, metabolism, and exercise habits as I do, and also that not everyone gets paid to look like a model. I also was unaware that violating another person’s privacy, in an area of utmost privacy such as a locker room (where people are…

that gif is how I feel about most things nowadays.

currently getting in my car to go purchase a Reuben for lunch because of this picture. thank you.

Another theory:

Someone tweeted the following gif with the caption “whenever I see Robby, this is all I can think of” and now that I’ve watched it on loop cry-laughing for 10+ minutes, I figured I’d spread the love.

I’m convinced I will NEVER recover from this.

I played flute all 4 years in a truly badass marching band, and lost a hotly-contested battle for DM my senior year. Crazy how even in FL, the uniforms manage to be heatstroke-inducingly hot in the fall, but hypothermia-inducingly thin/cold in the winter. What a magical fabric.

I had a phone interview in which the interviewer asked me something to the extent of “what’s your strongest characteristic in the workplace?”. I panicked and said “I’m... good... to work... with???”

“US: What are the challenges of being with a basketball star?

I remember this struggle! In middle school/the beginning of high school, I washed mine every morning, scrunched it with gel, blew it out, AND straightened it. Just way too much effort for an expectedly not-great result.

My hair is very fine/straight, I live in the buttcrack of Florida, I exercise almost every day, and…

I tried this one recently and it works really, really well! It’s expensive for something that I use every other day, but for me, using it with the same frequency as some of the cheaper ones (cough Not Your Mother’s cough) hasn’t caused the same residue/scalp itchiness.

I know this one!! (Or a variation of this, at least)

“truly a loss for those of us who saw the law as something meant to protect women.”

so... a loss for a bunch of clueless pro-birthers who have no idea what “protect” means in this situation except “make sure the whores are doing right in the eyes of God”?

“My personality is shit.”: kind of my new personal brand tbh. Another great takeaway from this season is to begin all hypothetical situations with “so, let’s pretend you’re Hitler...”

it took me about halfway through the scene to realize that the song being performed in the background of the man tears- while Jojo and Beige Chase were making out- was “don’t cry for me argentina”. BRUTAL.

conversation in my house last night:
“I’m sorry.. did he say... ‘Derek is imperfect’? No. Please tell me he didn’t.”
“HE DID.”
“NO!!!!!”

True. It’s basically honor system. Just passing along the official rules :)

Totally agree about the gay men part, but I think they’ve updated the tattoo part in the last several years. The waiting period is still a year if you live in one of the 11 states where tattoo facilities aren’t regulated (District of Columbia, Georgia, Idaho, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, New Hampshire, New York,…