I hope she “pranks” him back by liberally applying pepper spray to something of his... Perhaps something that he needs for medical reasons when he’s already probably in a terrible mood and in pain? Maybe like an inhaler? HOW FUNNY WOULD THAT BE, BRAD?!? LOL!

“Usually puts his guns away when the children are around”

#blessed

Sup, ghost bud? Let’s make a deal- I’ll help you haunt your douchebag friend if you help me haunt mine! We can play ghost monkey-in-the-middle over their heads with a precious vase or some shit.

Oh definitely. Perma-turd. Throwin' lamps, throwin' clothes all over the Perfect Married Home (since apparently being messy is literally punishable by death), and definitely ghost-fuckin' her gross husband.

Well, obviously the plastic surgery that gives him a boner isn't the problem!

“I sold my friend the drugs she used to overdose, and I went to prison, but I learned *sooo* much about myself in the process ❤️”

I guarantee I would come back as a poltergeist if a steaming turd like this was published about me after my death. Holy shit.

right? like, their model has "appropriate" sized boobs, but there's still more cleavage in their stock photo than in the photo that the member posted! -________-
edit: I got kinja'ed and responded to the wrong person :( but still!

I fell deep, deep into the rabbithole last night on my commute home. He posts about Kylie pretty frequently with captions like “WOW, 18 WITH ALL THESE LIP INJECTIONS, WE SHOULD BE TEACHING OUR YOUTH TO LOVE THEMSELVES AND #CARBTHEFUCKUP WITH #30BANANASADAY AND RIDE BIKES INSTEAD OF GETTING PLASTIC SURGERY TO LOVE…

“Just blow loads whenever u want”

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one that led to the sleekest of turds."

WHO SAYS TURDS?

I’m totally not crying at that very small dog with very large paws standing in a K-9 vest thing that’s way too big for him. Not at all! I’m fine!

apparently, 7! no thread may exist without it! CAN ANYONE TELL ME IF “BABY GOT BACK” WAS MOCKING WHITE RACISM TOWARD BLACK WOMEN’S BODIES?

Nah, I'm Vaguely Car-Salesman-Looking Dad In Kelly Green Dress Shirt. Also, I love this song. #sorrynotsorry

I wish I could unhear that woman screeching like a broken kitchen appliance.

OOF. This reminds me of that runway video where the models all had to wear these fucking ridiculous like, 7 inch heels, with no supportive base to speak of, and were rubber-anklin’ it all up and down the runway. I'll refrain from posting it here because then I would have to find it and feel physically ill for a few…

I fucking love Wacoal bras! I have three of them, which means they're... 3/4ths of my everyday bras.

THIS IS GLORIOUS