opinions on the nudity part aside, the term “pop-up restaurant” needs to be launched into the sun.

I use my prepaid Woman Card to pay for groceries, tampons, manicures, and daily therapy- you know, Woman Stuff! So user-friendly; very easy to understand for those of us who Aren’t Good At Math (all of us, amirite ladies??!). The only thing I’m still trying to figure out is why, whenever I add $1 onto my balance, it…

“Words mean the exact same thing no matter the context, timing, or arrangement in which they are typed!!!!!!" Have a nice day on the internet, dad.

Surprisingly, I too exist outside of internet comment sections! I also watched it Sunday morning; I know people who did and people who didn’t. Those who didn’t casually checked FB or Twitter, saw The Interwebs freaking out about the “Becky” line, and wondered what it was about.

Hahaha yeah, that’s exactly what I am.

No one would use that specific phrase to say “I’m having a good hair day” to begin with, and she posted it like.. hours... after Lemonade came out/the entire internet was having a conniption about "who's becky???". I don't think there's any question that she did it on purpose.

“lol, I’m going to post some coy bullshit about how I maybe did or maybe did not fuck Beyoncé’s husband ;)“
*enter The Beyhive*

Hi everyone! It's your friendly neighborhood sinus rinsing fanatic, here to advocate for something that is disgusting and so so helpful. Neti pots can be awkward positioning-wise, so I buy the plastic squeeze-bottle type. Most come with their own pre-measured salt packets. I live amongst metric fucktons of pollen, and…

Jesus Christ, I just spit coffee all over my desk. Would star 100 more times if possible.

“My Wikipedia page currently refers to me as a Dusty Side Hoe. Is that enough of a 'personal emergency' for y'all?"

My pipe dream wedding dress is Monique Lhuillier, and I have to agree that the above showing is two tickets to Snoresville. Also, Midwestern Surrender should be a novel with Fabio on the cover.

If you want to drink clear liquor and coke (or diet coke), wouldn't you pick rum?? Same-ish amount of calories, significantly less disgusting combination... am I wrong? I much prefer vodka over rum- I actually hate rum and cokes- and I would drink a rum and coke before a vodka and coke. Christ.

Wow, check your fabulously-vibrant-and-poisonous-looking neckflaps privilege! SOME of us have to resort to using a jacket...

always.

next week, on PUA advice forums: "just show up on her doorstep and don't leave until she calls the police. they might take turns trying to get you to leave by beating you with a shovel, but really show her that you're an alpha male who won't take no for an answer! one of them might shoot you in the head- totally worth…

does this one also work for writing a 15-page paper that's due on Monday, which isn’t necessarily a HARD 15-page paper, but just one that I really don’t want to fucking write, especially because it's Friday and I deserve a drink? I’m going to try it.

this is really glorious.

“how am I supposed to know that throwing stones and branches isn't some kind of elaborate feminist mating ritual??"

we’re always safe in the kitchen! rimshot