sparklycarklee
sparklycarklee
sparklycarklee

yep. "HOW CAN A WOMAN WHO'S THIS HOT STILL BE A VIRGIN? SHE IS UNTAINTED BY THE TOUCH OF ANOTHER MAN! I MUST HAVE HER!!!!" *caveman head explosion*

If you've heard two cats fucking in your backyard in the middle of the night, you've heard this song.

I googled her this morning and found out that she sings my least favorite song on the radio that I fucking hate and immediately switch away from whenever it comes on. It’s called “Should’ve Been Us” and it should’ve been killed in production. #OneHitWonder #YoureDone #PleaseExit

when you're at the Grammys throwing shade and no one has any idea who the fuck you are:

SO BAD.

I would *love* some of whatever drugs her stylist was freebasing when he or she picked out this look. She’s literally wearing my exact hairstyle from 6th grade- vintage Kid Rock in the front, MOOOOM WHY CAN’T WE PAY SOMEONE ELSE TO CUT MY HAIR??!!?!? in the back.

English Cocker Spaniel- Outgoing, needs to be told and told again, athletic. 1 and 2 are on point, 3... not so much.

Yeah, because “I might still get to fuck you (and PS I’m taking responsibility for all your fame because I embarrassed the shit out of you 5 years ago)" is totally a line that any incredibly famous female artist would "give the thumbs up" to! Does Kanye know the difference between a thumb and a middle finger? What a

Oh, I know how heavily it’s edited. I guess I'm just boring for wanting to see actual conversations about actual things between Ben and the girls. I wouldn't count "I'M SOOOO EXCITED TO BE HERE N HOLD UR HAND!" as something more camera-worthy than them actually getting to know each other (if they're really doing

One of my pet peeves is that a lot of the women use their alone time with Ben solely to talk about all the things they want to talk about. E.g., “I really want to open up to you!”, “I really want to get to knowwww youuuu”, and everyone’s personal favorites after last night, “I want to talk about smart things!” Olivia

“Nobody knows how that feels until you experience it.”

well... really any baby. but especially one with a serious medical condition that it acquired from me existing as a 25-year-old with no plans to get pregnant. CAN I FUCKING LIVE?

I like Lauren H even less than I like Olivia. She's my least favorite contestant- she seems SO disingenuous and she has snake eyes. The "bubbly kindergarten teacher" thing is 100% fabricated. Also, she can take the soccer mom comment and shove it up her tightly-wound ass. Ridiculous.

“Some women will take this advice,” Filer said, “and some will not.”

YEP. THAT’S HOW ADVICE WORKS, ASSHOLE.

“beige girls" is a PERFECT description.

she's probably on her period, AM I RIGHT, FELLOW PAUNCHY OLD WHITE (OR ORANGE) MEN?????

Right! Sure, they know what they signed up for, but having feelings for someone and watching him repeat the same hold hands/snuggle/laugh/makeout pattern with 10 other women would at the very least be annoying.

NOT TODAY, SATAN! WITH YOUR BITES THAT PAY NO MIND TO THE NATURAL ORDER OF THE KITKAT!

“but think about how *I* feel when you've watched me hold hands with/make out with 8 other girls in 45 minutes and then you don't really feel like touching me every second of the day"