UUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH
TAKE A HINT, BRO! IF SHE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU, SHE WILL TELL YOU THAT SHE WANTS TO GO OUT WITH YOU!
DO NOT WAIT FOR HER BY THE GODDAMN EXIT JUST IN CASE SHE “FORGOT” HOW INTERESTED SHE IS! LIFE IS NOT AN 80-YEAR-LONG MEETCUTE!

Yep! Definitely got all that shit too. “you think you’re too good for me?” aka “I hit on a woman and got turned down which is impossible because like, have you seen me? have you even heard about my dick?? bitch."

Not that much of a talent, considering you could just say "Lauren" every time and get like 8/10.

GOD, I’M SO FUCKING MAD. AND I LIVE IN FLORIDA, SO I’M LIKE, EXTRA FUCKING MAD. FUCK RICK SCOTT, HIS BLATANTLY CORRUPT-AS-FUCK POLITICS, AND THE HOLE WHERE HIS NOSE SHOULD BE.

THE BEST

"He's actually John Cena. That's why he's not here- wouldn't fit through the door."

Just gonna leave this here.

““I don’t want to be on camera,” she cried shortly afterwards while she was having a self-described panic attack.”

Exactly. When I was single, I tried the “soft ignore”, where you pretend like the bar is too loud for you realize that some guy is up in your face; I tried “Sorry, I’m just out with the girls tonight! No boys allowed! Haha!”; I tried “I’m not interested!” a few times which was a disaster so I retired it. Nothing…

#PutSomeNutsInYaMouth2016

“why not be honest and just tell them you’re not interested??”
oh.

Ahh, true. P in the V would have to be US-based, then. More P for me! (HELP I can't stop)

“Hey, teens! Saving is cool! Put some pennies in your vault today!”
-P in the V Credit Union

really loving the short hair on her, too!

came here for the comments; was not disappointed.

“Why did it go on for this long, and this far?” said Goss in a press conference called shortly after the report’s release. “I’m as frustrated as anyone. You can’t read a single thing that’s been highlighted. Had I been there to advise [former CIA director] Allen Dulles, I would have suggested the traditional yellow…

Yep! I saw this headline and was pissed that I bought one for $8/free shipping last week. Then I clicked through and the rage settled.

Yep! I saw this headline and was pissed that I bought one for $8/free shipping last week. Then I clicked through and…

Waffles, everyone knows that the best way to comfort someone who’s grieving isn't a heartfelt, totally PG, over-the-clothes back massage. It's cornering them on a bench and forcing some fake tears about your cankles.