How would that even work? You would have to be a female member of whatever race this dude belonged to.

I recently empowered my female dog to not barf her expensive prescription food all over the kitchen floor. She embraced the empowerment and barfed outside.

That is not Toby Maguire dancing. That’s a character! If we don’t respect the difference, someone dies!!

This article convinced me I’m an android.

“At the time, not a single one of the major broadcast networks had sent a reporter to cover the Standing Rock mobilization; none had even bothered to mention it on the air.”

“This is going higher than her.”

DAFUQ? No gloves?

Put the beaker on the counter if you’re going to pour, son!

Let’s put these ideas together.

Tiffany,

“Maples, told the Times that Papa Trump would occasionally carry his youngest daughter about as he discussed business plans with electricians and carpenters.”

Oh God. Looks like the talking head bot glitched out on the “luxury exercise program” line.

And on the Seventh Day, He looked at a menu and chose an item because he liked the ingredients. He ordered it, and it was good.

I was really afraid I would feel alone, and the first couple of months I was spending Fridays there by myself, I got really depressed and would cry a lot. Especially since my ex (we are not hostile to each other, but we don’t really talk) started dating again.

I LOVE living by myself. I come from a big family, had to live in dorms throughout college, ect., and am now relishing having ALL THE SPACE to myself. Do the laundry and then leave it in the dryer? Sure! Eat nothing but take-out for a week? Sure! Sleep in the guest room because I am too lazy to move the junk off my…

“hell is other people.”

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the 76th Hunger Games.

Damn it kinja...

Main takeaway: I miss The Fall.